Members Of Parliament T-Shirts

'You know, I can never tell from their conversations whether the members are Labour or Conservative.'

"It's a bit cramped but one night a month pays for six weeks in Barbados!"

"You're in my spot."

'Hanson - committee of four.'

"Of course, when I say we the people I mean I the people."

'What we need is a decision, not more foot-dragging.'

"The state of graduates literacy levels is shoking and both my colleegs agrree that there maths isn't much better."

"Hold everything! I just thought up a terrific loophole!"

'It may not be our usual business lunch, but it will sure impress the hell out of the budget committee.'

'There's an absence of leadership in this authority,we need to explore the possibility of thinking about setting up a sub-committee to look into it.'

'Okay, let's go over this again: You tell me your great ideas, I repeat them back to you, then you tell me I have a great idea and I get all the credit for it!'

"There's no need to go round the table - I know who I am."

"I cede the remainder of my time to the ranking member."

Man on left - 'What do you call a public servant who spends half their time doing private work?' Man on right - 'An MP?'

Whitehall: Gave honest impartial advice

Plain English group.

'Take a letter,'

"The vote is tied. Half of us think the proposed plan is astoundingly asinine, and the other half finds it stupid beyond belief. Let's try to find a middle ground here, people!"

Mice in the Commons

"The Board just wants to be sure you're well supported."

"The steering-committee three are we. Run it by us, and we'll see."

Andrea Leadsom's memoirs

If you ask me, pets shouldn't be allowed in the House of Commons...

Br... No Exit

'That damn racial scandal.'

How To Spot A Politician

'...Nadine Dorries has sent you a present from Australia. She said as soon as she saw it she thought of you!'

'That's it, in a nutshell.'

'Excellent - it's unanimous!'

"The first goal of our ad hoc committee should be to learn Latin."

"I suppose the first thing to do is form an escape committee."

"When my distinguished colleague refers to the will of the 'people,' does he mean his 'people,' or my 'people'?"

Theresa May's ignores a stab in the back.

Newly Married M.P. and his Wife