Melody Mender Gifts

Former hammer dulcimer

The Cello Victims

'Now what brings you lovely people here?'

"We'll always have couples therapy."

Couples' therapy

"OK, fine. Perhaps 'sower of discord in the lower depths of hell' was overstating it."

Cycling with a harp case

Mendelssohn Finds His Inspiration

'I find that a live rhinoceros rather than an invisible elephant speeds things up considerably.'

'Mr. Dunbarter, your fantasy that 'greed is good' may be a case of economic insanity.'

"He keeps reissuing everything I take issue with."

"I advised a patient to take responsibilty for his own actions, and now he is suing me!"

Musical genres

'Would you feel less inferior if I made you a Colonel?'

'It's a sad case -- amnesia AND identity theft.'

'Typical bloody man, you've no idea what loyalty means...it's just self, self...self!'

"Don't worry they're all part of my team."

"We'll soon have you sorted out, Mr. Fenton."

'We were so attracted to each other - now we're just poles apart'

'I've lost the urge to repeat everything...'

Yes, yes, let your aggressions out, but not here!

Well, I feel a lot better - he says there's a method to my madness.

'I'm going to refer you to Dr. Keinsorge -- he actually enjoys this sort of thing.'

"Whose turn is it to be happy?"

Analyst and patient

"Can I call you back, I'm engaged in crisis talks."

"Why do humming birds hum? Because they don't know the lyrics."

Doctor with pump: 'Hold on a second while I inflate his ego.'

"I'm sorry, sir, but we're not MAGICIANS!"

The Music Lover.

"I appreciate you have a real passion for music Mr Hibberd. . . but I can see you're going to struggle with the piano."

"Well, how can I help cure your severe hypochondria if you keep cancelling appointments due to illness?"