Melody Mender Pillows

Former hammer dulcimer

The Cello Victims

'Now what brings you lovely people here?'

"We'll always have couples therapy."

"What do you want to talk about first...the kleptomania or the hoarding?"

Couples' therapy

Cycling with a harp case

"OK, fine. Perhaps 'sower of discord in the lower depths of hell' was overstating it."

"You'd think he hated music by the way he tortures it."

Mendelssohn Finds His Inspiration

"He keeps reissuing everything I take issue with."

'Mr. Dunbarter, your fantasy that 'greed is good' may be a case of economic insanity.'

'I find that a live rhinoceros rather than an invisible elephant speeds things up considerably.'

"Remember, the road to recovery begins with baby steps."

"So, how are we doing with our trust issues?"

"I advised a patient to take responsibilty for his own actions, and now he is suing me!"

Musical genres

'It's a sad case -- amnesia AND identity theft.'

You make me feel more like a veterinarian than a psychiatrist, Al. Why is that, Dr. Kapuchnik? Because you're one sick puppy.

'Would you feel less inferior if I made you a Colonel?'

'Typical bloody man, you've no idea what loyalty means...it's just self, self...self!'

"Don't worry they're all part of my team."

"We'll soon have you sorted out, Mr. Fenton."

'We were so attracted to each other - now we're just poles apart'

Yes, yes, let your aggressions out, but not here!

Well, I feel a lot better - he says there's a method to my madness.

'I've lost the urge to repeat everything...'

"Can I call you back, I'm engaged in crisis talks."

"Why do humming birds hum? Because they don't know the lyrics."

"I'm sorry, sir, but we're not MAGICIANS!"

"Whose turn is it to be happy?"

Analyst and patient

"Well, how can I help cure your severe hypochondria if you keep cancelling appointments due to illness?"

Doctor with pump: 'Hold on a second while I inflate his ego.'

"I appreciate you have a real passion for music Mr Hibberd. . . but I can see you're going to struggle with the piano."