Melodrama Critic Gifts

"Edward attracts light."

"Bond James, Bond."

"For the best picture not having won anything thereby being eliminated from this category..."

Benedict Cumberbatch

"Now, how can I be of assistance?"

"I kid you not, blood was oozing from the walls! Unfortunately, it was fake: I had stumbled on the set of a horror movie..."

Thought for today: "All the world's a stage." - Shakespeare. And boy, are there a lot of drama critics.

Herman Mankiewicz

Men looking at black screen, "I call it film noir"

"Well, what did you expect? They were both missing vital organs."

"Remind me: Is it the New York Critics Award or the Sundance Audience Prize that always lets us down?"

Ernie Studios. Hi, Ernie. What movies are you working on? We have a script about astronauts marooned on a planet filed with talking gorillas who are in hard economic times. I think I'll call it "The Apes of Wrath"! We're casting "Reignman." The central character is a savant monarch. And we're filming a movie about a suburban town populated by women with strange, long hair ... It's called "The Stepford Weaves."

"I've seem an awful lot of movies ever since they cut them all down to two minutes."

"Now Playing: One of those Jane Austen movies."

"They've remained remarkably faithful to the text."

'This should be perfect. The main characters fall in love during a series of explosions.'

"Let's talk film or let's not talk film - I'm easy."

"I remember when the death of the hero meant the end of the sequels. Now it marks the beginning of the prequels."

"It turns out that if you give a hundred monkeys a hundred typewriters, eventually they'll turn out the work of Tarantino."

Scarpia from Tosca

Censors 'no' a good thing when they see it.

Men: Hating chick flicks since 1623.

"Let's face it. The only play you've ever liked is 'Stop the World - I Want to Get Off.'"

Waiter, what's this fly doing in my soup? A scene from an Esther Williams movie.

"Boy, this blooper reel from 'Manchester by the Sea' is a crack-up."

"It's a play on words."

Film Festival. Events. Screenings. Ernie attends these festivals in costume. He's gone over to the dork side!

No, this is the red lagoon, the black one is down the road a bit.

'It was great. I hated it.'

'This is the worst film noir I've ever seen.'

Jack-a-box in the theatre.

'Hey, Charlie, have we got good news for you!'

"Maybe I don't like stunning debuts."

"You had the power to leave all along - just click your heels three times, grab your coat, and sneak out without saying goodbye."

'... and the winner for 'The Noisiest Picture of the Year' is...'