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Mr. Mantalini poisons himself for the seventh time

"Says here that, since Coronation Street started, there have been 86 weddings and 124 deaths."

"Do you want to pretend to be a doctor and I'll pretend to be a hotshot civil litigation attorney who sues you till your ears bleed?"

'The proliferation of bird watchers make me more and more self-conscious...'

"Don't get strung out by the way I look, don't judge a book by its cover."

"Ooh, I must sit down - I'm dead on my feet!"

'Now I kinda wish we had planned a bigger wedding.'

Clown teaches how to speak Jibberish

"I'll do the movie but I want to be highly compensated and highly acclaimed."

"Aristophanes explains comedy"

'Why don't you just pull over and let them pass already?!?'

Man is stopped from entering doctor's surgery by a receptionist dressed as a bouncer.

'Hi, Doc! I don't think I'm going to need you after all....'

"We're following Carrot Top."

Don't be fooled by the theatrics. She'll only suck your sap!

Shakespeare does stand-up comedy in the round.

"Hey grandpa, tell us more about the time you were in that Steven Spielberg movie."

If time travel was invented in 1600 in England. I'm a fan of the bard. Let's see if he wants to take a journey through time. Globe Theater. Sounds fun! Let's go to 2020. It's a nice round number. Zazzz! Poof! That's weird. How did they know he was coming? And why does he need to leave this place? Apparently you can't be here, William. The sign says "No Shakespeare in the park this summer."

Cat fishing whilst fish fly overhead.

"They've remained remarkably faithful to the text."

Wordplay: Hibernation.

'That'll be four twenty for the beers and sixty quid for the Xmas decorations.'

"Stop the drama. Take that wig off and wait 'till spring like everyone else."

Silence of the Chickens...

"Based on the feedback from advisers whom I haven't beheaded, all of my ideas are great."

"Seth, here, is one of the best young creative compromisers in the business."

"Bloody hell!"

'Thank heavens! For a minute there I thought it was the news!'

"Same story every morning - 'Can you come and fix our windmill?'..."

'A sitcom has to be quirky or formulaic. There is no middle way.'

Mayhem, Inc. Part 1: Prologue

"I offer emotional support and companionship for those with PTSD." "I detect cancer and other human diseases by scent detection." "I squeak-fart when startled."

"I said slime."

"Someone throw him a punchline!"

'She sounds like your mother when you told her that you were going to marry me.'