Meetings Magician Gifts

'Mr. Hickey really knows how to keep our stockholders meetings short and sweet!'

'Why is it that nothing ever gets done at these meetings?'

"Bert, I'm confused. What happens after we circle the wagons, tighten our belts and walk a mile in our customer's shoes? Is that when the chickens come home to roost?"

"Is this to make me feel bad for not getting you that laptop?"

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

"After years of cartoon rejections, Bill stooped to trying a little shameless product placement."

'I should not that the cherry and whipped cream were an afterthought created by our graphics dept.'

'I vote we hang the darn thing upside down and go home!'

Team Leader

'Now THAT'S a presentation! Great delivery, great graphics, and he moonwalks from the room.'

"Even if forced to slave all day, in my mind I'll always play!"

Businessman with in and out boxes marked: 'Hocus' and 'Pocus'

"She just takes things too seriously in our relationship."

"Now this chart should clear up any confusion you have with the report."

"Help! I'm surrounded by idiots."

"We made a miscalculation, but it's consistent with our over-all strategy."

'We apologise for the delay to the yum-yum train.'

'Herb will provide one of his concise interpretations of the quarterly sales charts.'

Smoke and mirrors.

The louder the kid, the tighter the lid.

"Nobody truly appreciates the magic that goes into a good omelet."

"You haven't been laid off because you're the designated scapegoat."

'This wasn't what I meant by viral marketing...but if you can get it to work.'

"Okay...tell me again what training seminar we sent Bill to?"

'Thank you, Leo. Nothing like a roar to get us going in the morning.'

Pizza time.

'It WAS rather unkind of you to hide his bottle-opener, Mrs Jones.'

'I started out as a yes man, but I've evolved into a plucky devil's advocate who always sides with the boss in the end.'

I'd like to talk about absenteeism.

"I said, 'You must be waiting for 'Mr. Right,' too.'"

Inkwell Genie.

'I think I'm decisive. Can I get back to you on that?'

"I don't want to take this meeting off track, but... isn't Stonehenge amazing? Seriously, who did that?"

Man in meeting has drawn all over paper, table and chairman, who says: 'I have no objection to doodling during meetings, but it must be within reason.'

'In keeping with the team approach, we've traded you for two middle managers to be named later.'