Meeting The Parents Expert Pillows

"Mum thinks smoking is anti-social!"

'So, my Daughter's told you all about me, has she?... And did she mention how violent I get when someone sits in my chair?'

'Oh, Daddy's old gun?... I think he's planning on showing it to you. He always said, it was there in case I ever brought a boyfriend home.'

"Congratulations, it's a lifetime of penury and countless sleepless nights!"

'He's the one who needs obedience training!'

"Well, I had 'the talk' with him.

Well, we thought we had childproofed the house

'Change is inevitable, espeically when you have a newborn in diapers."

"Now that I can talk, here's my speaking fee."

We're looking for someone who knows how to adapt, not adopt.

"That is one absorbent nappy."

"It's true, mommy...the chocolate bunny attacked me - it was self-defense!"

"Ah...here they are!"

"Another reckless baby driver! I'd arrest the whole lot of them if they weren't so damn cute."

"Instead of taking a bath couldn't I just run through a carwash?"

The modern generation!

"If you find authority intolerable, remember, you're in good company."

'At midnight, we go over the wall.'

He can't talk yet, but he still gets the last word.

'This is Tyler; he's mommy's precious little feral-angel.'

"I'm the last to go home because my parents are still fine tuning their work-life balance."

"Yes, he was very nice, Mom, but he had to cut the date short because it was... 'report card time'!"

'Is it okay to apologize for something I'm going to do?'

"It's difficult to attract a younger customer when our main demographic is babies."

Sometimes nature not only calls; she makes an emergency breakthrough.

World's Best Dad. I don't know. I thought they were with you. World's Best Mom.

They grow up so fast, so we're already putting money away for bail.

'Dad, I don't need a two-thirds majority to over-ride your veto. I've got mom.'

'But I'm not tired yet!!!'

Toilet Training

'I changed my mind...I'm not thirsty anymore.'

'Sorry, he can't come out and play. He's grounded.'

'He's my personal potty trainer.'

"Don't make me turn this covered wagon around!"

Look at it this way: You're changing the future of the nation...one diaper at a time!