Meeting The Parents Expert Pillows

"Mum thinks smoking is anti-social!"

'So, my Daughter's told you all about me, has she?... And did she mention how violent I get when someone sits in my chair?'

'Oh, Daddy's old gun?... I think he's planning on showing it to you. He always said, it was there in case I ever brought a boyfriend home.'

"Congratulations, it's a lifetime of penury and countless sleepless nights!"

'He's the one who needs obedience training!'

"Well, I had 'the talk' with him.

'Change is inevitable, espeically when you have a newborn in diapers."

We're looking for someone who knows how to adapt, not adopt.

"That is one absorbent nappy."

"Ah...here they are!"

"Another reckless baby driver! I'd arrest the whole lot of them if they weren't so damn cute."

"It's true, mommy...the chocolate bunny attacked me - it was self-defense!"

"Instead of taking a bath couldn't I just run through a carwash?"

'Is it okay to apologize for something I'm going to do?'

The modern generation!

"Yes, he was very nice, Mom, but he had to cut the date short because it was... 'report card time'!"

"If you find authority intolerable, remember, you're in good company."

'This is Tyler; he's mommy's precious little feral-angel.'

'At midnight, we go over the wall.'

"It's difficult to attract a younger customer when our main demographic is babies."

"I'm the last to go home because my parents are still fine tuning their work-life balance."

Sometimes nature not only calls; she makes an emergency breakthrough.

"Now you know how Daddy feels when Mommy overdraws the checkbook."

"Don't make me turn this covered wagon around!"

'Dad, I don't need a two-thirds majority to over-ride your veto. I've got mom.'

'But I'm not tired yet!!!'

'Sorry, he can't come out and play. He's grounded.'

Penguin kid to parents: 'Big deal! You're grounding me!'

Look at it this way: You're changing the future of the nation...one diaper at a time!

'He's my personal potty trainer.'

Toilet Training

'I changed my mind...I'm not thirsty anymore.'