Meeting Scheduler Pillows

"None of our meetings have ever actually solved any problems, but having a lot of them scheduled in our diaries helps make us feel important!"

Time Management Seminar.

"I hacked in his schedule and I know he's free right now."

'He's not in, but I'll see if he's out.'

'Is he expecting you?'

'What bothers me about these meetings is even though it's work, I have the nagging feeling I ought to leave and get back to work.'

"Looks like we found the issue."

"Bert, I'm confused. What happens after we circle the wagons, tighten our belts and walk a mile in our customer's shoes? Is that when the chickens come home to roost?"

"I'm going to bombard you with graphs until you agree with me."

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

"So the plan is to fly everyone for free. But we'll charge $400.00 per bag."

"These projections don't make sparkles shoot out my ass."

'Finally! A meeting with one of the bigwigs.'

"I'd say we were pretty much on target."

'The efficiency expert's recommendation is we drink more coffee!'

'I vote we hang the darn thing upside down and go home!'

"I'm razzled, but not dazzled."

"The meeting will come to order."

"I need to see your budget proposal."

'I'm sorry, but everyone is in a meeting.'

"The good news is that we do have a little wiggle room."

'Ah, Galagher, we made good use of your proposal.'

'That last meeting was a complete turn-off.'

"I'll wait a moment for everyone's energy drink to kick in."

"It's been moved that we adjourn for an afternoon nap. Is there a second?"

'Hey, look, I can stand up and shout, too!'

Please sit down. I can give you five minutes.

"Nervous about this morning's presentation?"

"A dozen eggs and a pint of semi-skimmed...Sorry, looks like I left my presentation in my other coat."

"Here, we do not procrastinate, we 'table' things."

"Mr. Johnson, Bob is kicking me under the table!"

'Ok, here's the meeting agenda ... it's gonna be a long one.'

'Wake me up when he doesn't use a buzzword.'

After a day long meeting, the decision, as usual, is made in the hallway.

'We've financed three more startups for no fathomable reason.'