Meeting Scheduler Gifts

"None of our meetings have ever actually solved any problems, but having a lot of them scheduled in our diaries helps make us feel important!"

Time Management Seminar.

"I hacked in his schedule and I know he's free right now."

'He's not in, but I'll see if he's out.'

'Is he expecting you?'

'What bothers me about these meetings is even though it's work, I have the nagging feeling I ought to leave and get back to work.'

"Looks like we found the issue."

'Why is it that nothing ever gets done at these meetings?'

"Bert, I'm confused. What happens after we circle the wagons, tighten our belts and walk a mile in our customer's shoes? Is that when the chickens come home to roost?"

"I'm going to bombard you with graphs until you agree with me."

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

"These projections don't make sparkles shoot out my ass."

"So the plan is to fly everyone for free. But we'll charge $400.00 per bag."

'Finally! A meeting with one of the bigwigs.'

"I'd say we were pretty much on target."

"The data looks good, sir, but the vibes are mucho heavioso."

'The efficiency expert's recommendation is we drink more coffee!'

'I vote we hang the darn thing upside down and go home!'

"I'm razzled, but not dazzled."

"Let's start with an icebreaker..."

"The meeting will come to order."

"I need to see your budget proposal."

"The good news is that we do have a little wiggle room."

'I'm sorry, but everyone is in a meeting.'

'That last meeting was a complete turn-off.'

'Ah, Galagher, we made good use of your proposal.'

"I'll wait a moment for everyone's energy drink to kick in."

"It's been moved that we adjourn for an afternoon nap. Is there a second?"

'Hey, look, I can stand up and shout, too!'

"Nervous about this morning's presentation?"

"Here, we do not procrastinate, we 'table' things."

"Mr. Johnson, Bob is kicking me under the table!"

"A dozen eggs and a pint of semi-skimmed...Sorry, looks like I left my presentation in my other coat."

Please sit down. I can give you five minutes.

'Ok, here's the meeting agenda ... it's gonna be a long one.'