Meeting Merriment Appreciator Gifts

'So it's agreed- the first person to lower their hand is fired.'

'What bothers me about these meetings is even though it's work, I have the nagging feeling I ought to leave and get back to work.'

"Looks like we found the issue."

'Finally! A meeting with one of the bigwigs.'

'It has come to my attention that we need to hedge against our five-year plan.'

"It's a memo from the legal department reminding us to (heh-heh), 'keep our noses clean'."

'AT&T? I'm letting you go. I'm down-sizing too!'

'I'm sorry, but everyone is in a meeting.'

Please sit down. I can give you five minutes.

'Eat less. Drink less. Be merry more.'

'Before we start, shall we go round the table, and each share our name and a horrible dark secret from our past.'

"That's six 'noes' and one 'aye', the ayes have it"

Champagne

"At least we are consistently inconsistent."

'This prediction has a margin of error of plus or minus fifteen...fifteen class-action suits brought against the company.'

'Anyone who opposes the plan I'm about to propose please signify by saying 'I resign.''

You can fool some of the people all of the time - "Send in some of the people, Dorothy."

'Congratulations, Yomp - we're giving you a bigger carrot!'

"Well, let's quickly put Ken's incredibly incendiary remarks behind us and hopefully continue the discussion in a simmering rage."

'Miss Finch, find out what she does over there and offer her twice as much to do it over here.'

'Remember, my door is always open Higgins, just be careful of the trap door.'

'Hey! I sad, 'You've got mail!''

Research and Development: Now, Never.

"Looks like our days at the think tank are numbered."

'Ms. Snack, prepare the conference room for an executive sting.'

"And, while there's no reason yet to panic, I think it only prudent that we make preparations to panic."

Responsibility and duties

'We need to change the introduction to our annual report. What's another word for bankrupt?'

'Enter His Royal Globalness...'

'Boss, it seems like a friendly text, but you've got to learn to read between the emoticons.'

"Next meeting back to paper. Everyone missed doodle."

Conference Pears

"Unlike other companies, we are going to take the high road through this rough time, even if, at some point, we're obliged to raid the employee pension fund! Is everybody clear on that?"

'I meet therefore I MANAGE.'

'Thanks for flying in for the meeting.'