
"As you can see from the flow chart, the problem stems from a lack of direction."
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"As you can see from the flow chart, the problem stems from a lack of direction."
'Here's a composite of our target consumer.'
"Sir, I have a question that's lunch-related."
"So - the year is pretty much as we expected."
Politics In The Workplace
"I propose we build a panic room."
"This is terrible—who let him in here?"
'That's the gist of it, yesterday we heard the jast of it, and tomorrow I hope we hear the last of it.'
"This is a company which is going places...."
"Accepting change involves more than changing the 'Managing Change' meeting to next month."
"Couldn't you have just laughed instead of spelling 'LOL' in your alphabet soup?"
"If we can just get beyond this 'I'm the boss' mentality and concentrate on a simple 'What I say goes' outlook, I think this will all work out."
Girl with smart phone enters door that says "Social Media Studies"
"...but the big question is, does the competition know that we don't know what we don't know?"
"You know, there are other emojis."
"Dear Wendy, please excuse the tardiness of my response to your recent tweet from Hoboken."
'So do you want me to minute that George is dying of boredom and Nigel will rip my head off if I don't stop boring him with my blather?'
"Stinkin' fake news!"
Weird things I do because of the internet
"I always check twitter before work, to see if yesterday's joke got me the sack."
"Honey, I don't want to hide anything from you. I collect pictures of cats in my spare time."
"Mommy, look! He's man-spreading!"
I put a picture of my lunch on Facebook, and nobody hit "like." Who doesn't like Slim Jims and beer?
The Modern Novel.
'We will not kick the can down the road... Does anyone know how to use a can opener?'
I crawled out of a toilet and ate a guy. Say my name 3 times in a mirror. I dare you. No one suspects I'm Slenderman. She took me home. Then she woke up in a tub of ice missing a kidney. Urban Legends-in-Their-Own-Minds.
Mark Zuckerberg
"I'll have you know that, '#dirtylitterbox' is trending on Twitter."
'Don't bite. They're trolling again.'
"So I'm perfectly healthy? That's good but will I still be able to research symptoms online and panic?"
"Tinnitus?"
Oh, wait - Their king posted a declaration of war on your Facebook wall this morning.
"I've edited your Wikipedia entry again, Sadie. You're about to be inundated with phone calls from the press." "Whatever, geek-boy." "You're now the world's foremost authority on Turkey leprosy, the disease that's threatening to ruin the holidays." "No one'll believe that." "Oh yeah? I wrote a Wikipedia page for Turkey leprosy, too, along with examples of all the historical figures it's killed, such as the Archduke of Crushistan." "There is no 'Crushistan.'" "I've written a Wikipedia entry for C
"That's the trouble with cute kittens - they attract a lot of traffic."
Uncle Donnie
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