Meeting Humorist Pillows

'In hindsight, I believe that our oversight was shortsighted. At least that's my insight.'

'Let's break for lunch. I'll order pizza.'

Committee for kicking the can down the road

'Point of clarification, sir. Are you still in charge, or have you ceded power to your sock puppet?'

"Next, we are no longer to refer to Satan as his 'opposite number'."

'Well, I'm glad you two share a sense of humor.'

The team wondered if he would ever fit in.

'There are three 'Down with the proposal' votes and four, 'I'm down with the proposal' votes.'

'Anybody who has a life, gets more work.'

'The only thing we accomplished was identifying who has been farting at meetings.'

"That's his personal doodle trainer."

'Nobody likes to wear wigs and tight pants more than me. however, when I said the company was 'rocked' by scandal...'

"Lassie, go get help!" "Oh Timmy you idiot! Not again!"

"Being raised in the city, Fred didn’t quite grasp the true purpose of a game camera."

"In high school, I was quite the star in metal shop."

Copycats

"Waitress, have you smoked salmon..?"

In his younger days Spock was quite the comedian.

"Now, were those friends of your Gettys or Gottis?"

"'I don't want war'. . . well, wither our translation program is broke or this president has a strange kind of humor!"

'My body has rejected every diet I've tried.'

I will study my speling words...

'Of course I'll still love you when you're old and skinny!'

'..and we thank thee for these bio-engineered vegetables..'

Seniors Snooker Tournament.

"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."

"Couldn't you have just laughed instead of spelling 'LOL' in your alphabet soup?"

'I'll have the crab cake, and he'll have the crabby cake.'

'As you can see by the pie chart, most of our expenses go to well, pie.'

"No, there was no 'Buy One, Get One Free.' You're twins."

THE PIED PIPER OF GRAMERCY PARK

"When is my next parole hearing?"

"But everyone is befuddled by math."

"Even the waiters here are organic."

"Well, isn't that embarrassing."