Meeting Critique Champions T-Shirts

'The good news is we're projecting a profit. The bad news is, none of us will be alive then.'

"You're good at asking all the right questions. Now let's hear some right answers."

"No annual raises, but I will 'like' all your hard work on Facebook."

"I am calling a meeting...I am calling it a waste of time."

During the Holiday season, Mr. Arthur Jeffries takes a little time to think of those who are less fortunate.

'Haffner, we'll have none of your common sense suggestions!'

"When everyone gets a pillow you may start your presentation."

"We had to lay off most of the staff to pay for the consultants."

'I've got an idea for improving productivity...Stop having meetings and start working.'

"This meeting has been a great success. Insofar as the profound loneliness of my soul has been displaced for a little while."

"Excuse me! I might have said 'yada yada yada' but I never said 'blah, blah, blah'!"

"A brand new one will cost you $18. If I repair it the cost would be $397."

'For the larger appetite we suggest choices from the children's menu.'

Isolated fits of enthusiasm erupt at the annual I don't know I just work here convention.

"The time we save tarting these meetings so early is wasted in coffee preparation and bathroom breaks."

Gin Lane.

'You've got 2 left feet'

"I see from your resume that you lost your last job due to habitual lateness."

Big Society, the universal sticking plaster

"I can say with certainty that we can all look forward to a great summer season."

Lately, in the Chinese Sea...

"DUDE, even if you do slay the dragon, you're making a huge heteronormative assumption."

"We were hoping for something other than 'Whatever' as answers to our survey questions."

'Excuse me could we concentrate on the seminar please.'

'Give me a few minutes. I owe it to the tax payers to at least stretch a bit before throwing money at problems.'

'Welcome to 'All Sides of the Issues.' Here's our panel of commentators -- a communist, a socialist, a liberal, and a progressive....'

"I should say, he is a little sensitive to criticism!"

SOCIOLOGY 101, 'I think I preferred the old 'true or false' tests to these new 'politically correct or politically incorrect' ones.'

"I haven't had an eye test since the 1970's. Do you still have to take your bra off?"