Meeting Critic T-Shirts

"Excuse me! I might have said 'yada yada yada' but I never said 'blah, blah, blah'!"

"When everyone gets a pillow you may start your presentation."

'The good news is we're projecting a profit. The bad news is, none of us will be alive then.'

'Haffner, we'll have none of your common sense suggestions!'

'Better put out a pencil and pad just in case one of 'em does get an idea worth recording...'

"I am calling a meeting...I am calling it a waste of time."

"The time we save tarting these meetings so early is wasted in coffee preparation and bathroom breaks."

"This meeting has been a great success. Insofar as the profound loneliness of my soul has been displaced for a little while."

'I hate to be so skeptical, but I still think the seance business is a hoax!'

Reading my Critics

"The good news is that we do have a little wiggle room."

"And on the eighth day, God sat back with a scotch and soda and waited for the critical reviews."

"Your usually vicious sarcasm is weak. Go pump some irony."

All Harold's aptitude test showed is that he had an aptitude for taking tests.

"Never mind, Harry. Just remember, the 'Saturday Review' loved it."

"Mom, please! I'm a married woman whose friends have been reviewed favourably by the New York Times."

'It's cutting edge theatre.'

"Heads up! It's another tidal wave of overwrought critical hyperbole!"

"If I Can Make One Critic Smile..."

'He takes his organization chart seriously.'

"This is an excellent story, Doris, so far."

A man on a giant book poses as Rodin's The Thinker.

Movies vs. Films

"Did you read my review on Amazon? Four out of four people found it helpful."

'I take it that the birthday cake is for this old trout you just served me?'

The new Physics

'He knows everything about art. But he doesn't know what he likes.'

Learn to Be a Critic In The Privacy Of Your Own Home With The Apex Correspondence School Of Criticism!

"Perhaps you wouln't have declared so many places 'worth a detour' if you'd held the map right way up!"

"I don't like lawyer jokes. Lawyers don't think they're funny and other people don't think they're jokes."

'Bloomsbury Group, members only'

"Thank you, Mr. Mulvaney, but what we're really looking for is someone with talent."

Constructive Criticism 50c.

Dog writes a review: 'A sublime book, I devoured it in one sitting ...'

Boring Board Meeting