Meeting Critique Champions Pillows

"Yeah, but no progress in meeting..."

'The good news is we're projecting a profit. The bad news is, none of us will be alive then.'

"You're good at asking all the right questions. Now let's hear some right answers."

"No annual raises, but I will 'like' all your hard work on Facebook."

"I am calling a meeting...I am calling it a waste of time."

During the Holiday season, Mr. Arthur Jeffries takes a little time to think of those who are less fortunate.

'Haffner, we'll have none of your common sense suggestions!'

How can you read that comic strip Blondie? Its about a kinder, simpler time. It's about ancient history. They do the same material over and over. Exactly. I can count on it. Not like your stupid Pearls and Get fuzzy. Oooh, look how angry and edgy they are. They're sooo clever! Your whole gig is being angry and edgy. Look, I'm setting Candorville on fire.

"When everyone gets a pillow you may start your presentation."

"We had to lay off most of the staff to pay for the consultants."

'I've got an idea for improving productivity...Stop having meetings and start working.'

New Jersey Cops Gone Wild

"This meeting has been a great success. Insofar as the profound loneliness of my soul has been displaced for a little while."

The Artificial Intelligentsia

"Excuse me! I might have said 'yada yada yada' but I never said 'blah, blah, blah'!"

"A brand new one will cost you $18. If I repair it the cost would be $397."

Isolated fits of enthusiasm erupt at the annual I don't know I just work here convention.

'For the larger appetite we suggest choices from the children's menu.'

"The time we save tarting these meetings so early is wasted in coffee preparation and bathroom breaks."

"I see from your resume that you lost your last job due to habitual lateness."

Gin Lane.

'You've got 2 left feet'

"And now the Oscar for the film that everyone claims they want to see when they ACTUALLY saw 'Fifty Shades Freed'."

Oh, you shouldn't have. Shouldn't have what? Really, it's just too much. So thoughtful. Very kind. I have no idea what you're talking about. But I hope you're being sarcastic. Because I'm going to be really upset if you're genuinely accusing me of being thoughtful and kind. How could you forget, you cheap and callous bottom feeder? That's better. Now, what are you talking about?

Big Society, the universal sticking plaster

Cyber Mansplaining

"I can say with certainty that we can all look forward to a great summer season."

Lately, in the Chinese Sea...

"We were hoping for something other than 'Whatever' as answers to our survey questions."

"DUDE, even if you do slay the dragon, you're making a huge heteronormative assumption."

'Excuse me could we concentrate on the seminar please.'

'Give me a few minutes. I owe it to the tax payers to at least stretch a bit before throwing money at problems.'

'Welcome to 'All Sides of the Issues.' Here's our panel of commentators -- a communist, a socialist, a liberal, and a progressive....'

"I should say, he is a little sensitive to criticism!"

SOCIOLOGY 101, 'I think I preferred the old 'true or false' tests to these new 'politically correct or politically incorrect' ones.'