Critic Champions T-Shirts

'I hate to be so skeptical, but I still think the seance business is a hoax!'

Reading my Critics

No Elgar!

"And on the eighth day, God sat back with a scotch and soda and waited for the critical reviews."

"Your usually vicious sarcasm is weak. Go pump some irony."

"Never mind, Harry. Just remember, the 'Saturday Review' loved it."

"Heads up! It's another tidal wave of overwrought critical hyperbole!"

'It's cutting edge theatre.'

"Mom, please! I'm a married woman whose friends have been reviewed favourably by the New York Times."

"If I Can Make One Critic Smile..."

'I take it that the birthday cake is for this old trout you just served me?'

"Did you read my review on Amazon? Four out of four people found it helpful."

A man on a giant book poses as Rodin's The Thinker.

Filling the Missile Gap

"This is an excellent story, Doris, so far."

The new Physics

Learn to Be a Critic In The Privacy Of Your Own Home With The Apex Correspondence School Of Criticism!

'He knows everything about art. But he doesn't know what he likes.'

"It has great depth, realized with such a unique economy of paint application... yet, there remains a curious aura of drivel I can't dismiss."

"Perhaps you wouln't have declared so many places 'worth a detour' if you'd held the map right way up!"

"Thank you, Mr. Mulvaney, but what we're really looking for is someone with talent."

An acceptable level of TV violence.

'Bloomsbury Group, members only'

Author Reading Today: 'Typos I missed when correcting proofs.'

Dog writes a review: 'A sublime book, I devoured it in one sitting ...'

Constructive Criticism 50c.

Caveman sees comment section below cave drawings,

"You'll never believe who's here."

"Now this is what I call an honest little pub!"

The Real Russian history

The Algonquin Round Table