Meet Cute Fan Pillows

"I'm Tia Carmen...but I guess I'm not your tia, so you can just call me Carmen."

"We first met on the beach. He was a lifeguard and I was a poor swimmer."

'If Earwigs looked like baby seals:'

"I know we got early to catch him...but he looks so cute I just can't eat him!"

'I foresee a few more months of creating havoc without consequences, and then, yes, I see the 'cute' factor will start to wear thin...'

'Don't ask questions, Ralph, just tell me who you'd rather look like - Sean Connery or Robert Redford.'

"Have I ever told you how sexy you look when you sit through overtime?"

'Sorry mum, I had a brain freeze during the test...'

Little Pink Girl and Her Pink Horse

"How is it that Mick Jagger still has the energy to be Mick Jagger, but you're exhausted just from being you?"

Hollywood or bust!

Rachel Anne McAdams caricature

Elton John

"Kanye's changing his name. I'm thinking he should go by Cra Z."

Principal about Justin Bieber Junior High school: 'I was against letting the students name the school.'

Dua Lipa caricature

'Boss, he followed me home. Can I mentor him?'

'Yes, the walls ARE thin, but you'll be happy to know a world-famous rapper lives in the next unit.'

David Letterman

Madonna

'Really? -- I'd always assumed that Elton John was one of us.'

Plankton impersonator gets stuck in a whale.

Foam finger gets stuck up a foam nose.

"I think I'd rather wait till Benedict Cumberbatch does the audiobook."

Elvis fans

"Mmm my, there is just something about a man in footie pajamas."

Alan Davies.

Antonio Banderas

'A house is not a home until it contains food.'

Stephen Fry

"Your team should sign that bluebottle, it has chased the ball all over the pitch."

". . . But, hey, man, I just want to say this in all sincerity, man, that you are the greatest, man, you the el numero uno cat in my book, man you. . ."

Amy Schumer

Dog Formerly Known as Prince

"I pick up most of my wisdom from celebrity interviews.'