Meet And Greets Gifts

Read the author.

'What bothers me about these meetings is even though it's work, I have the nagging feeling I ought to leave and get back to work.'

"Looks like we found the issue."

'Why is it that nothing ever gets done at these meetings?'

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

'I should not that the cherry and whipped cream were an afterthought created by our graphics dept.'

'I vote we hang the darn thing upside down and go home!'

'It has come to my attention that we need to hedge against our five-year plan.'

"It's a memo from the legal department reminding us to (heh-heh), 'keep our noses clean'."

"I invited a few friends over who think you should see a psychiatrist."

"Yes, I'm from London. 'Which part?' you ask. Well all of me!"

'I'm sorry, but everyone is in a meeting.'

Welcome to the Team

'Now THAT'S a presentation! Great delivery, great graphics, and he moonwalks from the room.'

"Happy St Patrick’s Day"

'I like you, you remind me of someone.'

Can I give you a slice of the action?

Networking

'Before we start, shall we go round the table, and each share our name and a horrible dark secret from our past.'

"That's six 'noes' and one 'aye', the ayes have it"

"Tonight I'm getting together with pals to sit around and croak."

"At least we are consistently inconsistent."

'This prediction has a margin of error of plus or minus fifteen...fifteen class-action suits brought against the company.'

"Help! I'm surrounded by idiots."

'Anyone who opposes the plan I'm about to propose please signify by saying 'I resign.''

"Passengers, as we begin our descent, you may now suddenly act open and friendly to the person beside you."

"We made a miscalculation, but it's consistent with our over-all strategy."

'Congratulations, Yomp - we're giving you a bigger carrot!'

'Herb will provide one of his concise interpretations of the quarterly sales charts.'

"Hi! Hi! Hi! Hi!"

'Ms. Snack, prepare the conference room for an executive sting.'

"And, while there's no reason yet to panic, I think it only prudent that we make preparations to panic."

"Okay...tell me again what training seminar we sent Bill to?"

Responsibility and duties

'We need to change the introduction to our annual report. What's another word for bankrupt?'