Meeting People Gifts

Rugby...simply a great way to meet people.

"Quick! Remind me - are they handshakers, huggers, single kissers, or kissers on both cheeks?"

Networking

What if I'm one of the sad losers they aim these ads at?!

'What bothers me about these meetings is even though it's work, I have the nagging feeling I ought to leave and get back to work.'

"Looks like we found the issue."

'Why is it that nothing ever gets done at these meetings?'

"Bert, I'm confused. What happens after we circle the wagons, tighten our belts and walk a mile in our customer's shoes? Is that when the chickens come home to roost?"

"I'm going to bombard you with graphs until you agree with me."

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

"So the plan is to fly everyone for free. But we'll charge $400.00 per bag."

"These projections don't make sparkles shoot out my ass."

'Finally! A meeting with one of the bigwigs.'

"I'd say we were pretty much on target."

"The data looks good, sir, but the vibes are mucho heavioso."

"How's everybody doing? I'm not boring you, am I?"

"If I might be serious for a moment..."

'The efficiency expert's recommendation is we drink more coffee!'

Can't Do the Math/Won't Do the Math.

'I vote we hang the darn thing upside down and go home!'

'It has come to my attention that we need to hedge against our five-year plan.'

"It's a memo from the legal department reminding us to (heh-heh), 'keep our noses clean'."

"Yes, I'm from London. 'Which part?' you ask. Well all of me!"

"I'm razzled, but not dazzled."

"Let's start with an icebreaker..."

"The meeting will come to order."

"I need to see your budget proposal."

'I'm sorry, but everyone is in a meeting.'

'That last meeting was a complete turn-off.'

"The good news is that we do have a little wiggle room."

'Ah, Galagher, we made good use of your proposal.'

"I'll wait a moment for everyone's energy drink to kick in."

"It's been moved that we adjourn for an afternoon nap. Is there a second?"

'Hey, look, I can stand up and shout, too!'

"I was hoping there'd be no meetings here."