Meditation Practitioner T-Shirts

'How's your pilates class doing?'

"The real treasure in life is being present."

"Hoarder."

"Ohm."

'Is it cold, windy, and miserable up here, or is it just me?'

Cactus seats.

If a bear poops in the woods, and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?

'The creative process works best with a relaxed brain, so I'm letting my mind wander to let a solution drift in.'

'Take two tablets the moment you begin to feel indispensable.'

'I've learned a lot about myself at these meetings...like, I can fall asleep with my eyes open!'

Be Healthy

Turn, turn and turn.

"Oh, great - They changed the Meaning of Life again."

"Good game, good game, nice game, namaste, good game, nice game ..."

'He was just saying that all things come to him who waits and, sure enough, along came a lightning bolt.'

"Oh, ah, sorry!"

'Hey! Contemplate your own navel!'

"The Langmore Regional High School Inner Debate Team"

Mind-Fullness

'Don't just sit there thinking. Meditate.'

'Let's start out with cliches and pithy slogans - and work our way up to wisdom ...OK?'

My God, I need to fart.

"Wait—what did I come into this room to do?"

'I love it here. It really floats my boat.'

"It's a long way to Enlightenment. You might need some cash."

"Oh good, more time alone for quiet reflection."

Unguided imagery

"Who plays ball with the Dalai Lama?" "That's right." "What's right?" "Who plays ball with the Dalai Lama." "Why are you asking me?"

"Why is it always me that has to get up just as I'm falling asleep to do things I forgot."

'Uh, Dad - My wife thinks she and I should have a mountain of our own.'

Meditation

Institute of Health next to Alternative medicine dept

"Yet she never gains an ounce."

"I change my mantra every two months so no one can hack my soul."

Stressed over time management