Meditation Mischief-maker Pillows

"Do you guys serve beer?"

"Mr. Johnson, Bob is kicking me under the table!"

"I'm still looking for the lap of luxury."

'... No, actually. He's short, blond and ugly.'

"...And I cheated at solitaire...twice."

God creates humans.

"Looks like we left out the wrong brownies."

"As far as I can tell, meditation is just worrying minus the content."

'Terrific commercial. I'm sold. You'll start on that medicine immediately.'

'I'm sorry, I laughed when I saw you in spite of myself!'

People, come on, connect the dots...NOT THOSE DOTS!

The mummified remains of about 40 Buddhist monks were discovered in China, Mongolia and India. All the mummies were found sitting in the lotus position. Many believe that these monks sat so still, meditated for so long, and slowed their heart rates and body functions so much that they became mummified alive ... and they believe that whether those mummies are 200, 600, or 1,000 years old ... they're still alive. Where'd you hear all that? "Strange Mysteries." It's a Youtube channel. I wrote to th

"What about this: we steal from the rich and give it to political action committees?"

"I'm not complaining - I'm just wondering if there are any religions where you don't have to meditate."

This next song goes out to the girl who stole my heart and my guitar.

"I've been meditating as hard as I can and nothing happens."

A trap for Santa

'If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.'

Santa's sleigh up on cinder blocks.

"Great, I just made my last mortgage payment!"

It was clear that, once again, Lyle was not being nominated for sainthood.

"Do not feel bad - violence is acceptable when the purpose of the toy is its own destruction."

"Wait a minute - Where's the fire escape?"

'Norman, why is it you're the one who always gets detention.'

Dude Ranch. Activities Schedule. They have meditation classes! "Om" on the range!

"The meeting was cancelled after an outbreak of contagious giggling."

"You should embrace your mistakes..."

',,,'Sidekick' not a psychic'

'-and leave the money in used notes in the left luggage department...'

"So where's the baby cheeses we heard so much about?"

"Well, it seems that St. Patrick didn't drive all the snakes out of Ireland."

Yoga studio: In 234 and Out 234.

"...and on line 14 you claim 42 arrows and a battle ax as pillaging expenses, but on line 50 you claim them again under arsenal depreciation."

"Let's see how many times I can get this guy to use my name in vain."

Forgot that the return key would actually send the text.