Mischief Meditator Pillows

"I'm still looking for the lap of luxury."

A young Don King

"Do you guys serve beer?"

A Vase has fallen on a cat's head. Are mice to blame?

'Look behind you. . . Just kidding.'

"I change my mantra every two months so no one can hack my soul."

'I'm a perfect little angel while I'm asleep. It's being awake that causes me trouble.'

'This is going to be good, he's taking water balloons into the board meeting.'

'Naughty boy, I see you clawing my curtains.'

'How do people without a middle name know when the're in trouble?'

"So which one of you pesky dogs stole the last cookie from the bottom of the jar?"

'Someone come and mediate our argument about mediation!'

"It feeds blood to our brains...and that makes us smarter!"

For the third time that week somebody had super-glued the manager to his seat. It was great for team morale.

"What happened to what cat?"

"At least she got it to squeak when she tripped over it."

"My new year's resolution. . . .Not to drink out of the toilet."

"What would I have to do to be sent to my room without just the Brussels sprouts?"

"Doreen, the cat's after the parrot again!"

Restroom Practical Joke.

Lovebird and the Song Birds

"I like this one. Do you think it will look good when knocked from the table to the floor?"

Man being bitten by dog as he reads a book on dog discipline

"You threw the wrench again, didn't you?"

"Mom is pretty certain I'm on my third guardian angel by now."

'I'll get into the garbage, Whiskers here will wreck the sofa, and you - you'll drive the getaway castle.'

'How'd you get out of time-out??. . . Dude, if you do the crime, you do the time.'

'To err is human. To really mess up, we've got to do some planning.'

'As near as I can figure something bad happened and they're both in on it.'

'As a baby sitter, you shouldn't think of me as a bratty kid...think of me as a jobs creator!'

'We had quite a fire drill at school today -- there was looting.'

"...and remember, son - every now and then, refuse to eat your dinner no matter how good it looks or how hungry you are. It drives the dumb humans crazy!"

'You just stood there and let them put a bell on you? -- What were you THINKING?'