Meditation Buff Pillows

"To listen to your instincts, press one."

"Dang Buddhists! Who do they think they aren't?"

Look Enlightened - Here comes the Guru.

'Try some -- it's 'om mani padme hummus.''

'Wise guy, huh?'

"Behold the secret to happiness."

Where your mind & battle are los

"... and I have a follow-up question regarding rawhide."

Counting ribs

'The creative process works best with a relaxed brain, so I'm letting my mind wander to let a solution drift in.'

"Break his third chakra!" "Knock the dharma out of him!"

"I want him to have the serenity to accept the things he can't pee on, the patience to pee on the things he can outside, and the wisdom to know the difference." "But I'll probably just take him to a trainer."

"Do you guys serve beer?"

'Take two tablets the moment you begin to feel indispensable.'

Dog yoga

'I've learned a lot about myself at these meetings...like, I can fall asleep with my eyes open!'

"Could you go back to the front desk? The receptionist has some forms for you to fill out."

Be Healthy

'You're through around here.. turn in your rubber donut!'

"Ooh, ooh, I know this koan! I got it! Pick me! Pick me!"

"What do I do to relieve stress? I meditate, about not working here."

"Eventually, you have to stop visualizing yourself doing well on the test, and actually do the test."

"Oh, great - They changed the Meaning of Life again."

'He was just saying that all things come to him who waits and, sure enough, along came a lightning bolt.'

'I'm just not sure how much more I can teach you.'

"Oh, ah, sorry!"

'Where would you recommend for a tech-free experience.'

'Enlightenment isn't EITHER overrated!'

'Hey! Contemplate your own navel!'

"Try thinking about something else."

Mind-Fullness

'Don't just sit there thinking. Meditate.'

Surfer Blowing Back His Hair.

'Let's start out with cliches and pithy slogans - and work our way up to wisdom ...OK?'

'Oh, I'm not a guru -- I'm just big on personal space.'