Meditation Gifts

Waiting for the Sun

"Nothing happens next. This is it."

The Meaning of Life/Tax Avoidance Advice.

"Behold the secret to happiness."

A puzzle cube seeks enlightenment

"Try thinking about something else."

Zen Kitty

"Of course, this neck stretch should be attempted only by advanced students."

"You can accomplish anything, if you don't put your mind to it."

"Mom?"

"Sorry, I can't talk right now. I'm busy living out the anxieties of a completely hypothetical situation."

Moment of Truth: 'Is there a doctor in the house?'

"Exactly what is this 'nothing' I've been hearing so much about?"

"No way! It's definitely your turn to 'be one' with the dishes."

"If I knew the meaning of life, would I be sitting in a cave in my underpants?"

Walt's train of thought left at 9:05. He wasn't on it.

"Frankly, counselor, I don't care how stressful this is for your client—tell him to get out of that damn yoga position."

"I want to learn to live in the moment... just not this moment. some other moment. Like a moment on the beach."

'Shhhhh...He's preparing for the holiday season.'

"Meditation is too hard. How do you keep one thought in your mind for this long?"

"Misunderstood,overworked,underpaid and stressed, it's bound to lead to depression...still enough of my problems,what can I do for you?"

Meditator thinks about shoes and chocolate.

"To listen to your instincts, press one."

'Your eyesight is only 20/400, but your insight is fantastic!'

'You've stumped me with that question, I think that's something you need to Google'

"What were you saying? My inner voice drowned you out for a second."

An enlightenment seeker heads back from Truth lookign shocked.

'My name is John and I haven't had a think for 36 days.'

'Stress relief techniques include meditation, slow breathing, and visualization of chocolate bars.'

Bob's personal journey of spiritual growth gets bogged down behind some idiot going half the speed limit.

'Goddamn traffic...I'm late for my meditation class.'

"With everything else I've got on my mind, now you're telling me I have to think about breathing?"

"That's my survival kit. It has a meditation tape, aspirin and rose-coloured glasses."

With everything else I've got on my mind, now you're telling me I have to think about breathing?"

'I'd really appreciate it if you'd refrain from shouting 'KA-CHING!!!' every time you become one with the universe.'