Mediocre Master Pillows

'I don't really have a personal best. I'm just sort of OK all the time.'

'We're making progress. I just got a firm 'maybe'.'

"We were able to retire 6 years early by canceling cable & eliminating anything fun."

Pull the udder one

"I wanted a Meticulous Monday or a Thorough Thursday report. This reads more like a Frivolous Friday."

"This is bad work, Edwards! Bad! Bad! Bad! Bad!"

The Bare Minimum

How to identify the alarming mood swings of male menopause.

"Good luck, Sanders. We're sure going to miss that little imitation you do of me at office parties."

'I can't decide weather to have a feisty or a sassy management style.'

Half-A**ed Publishing Presents...

"Experience is the wonderful knowledge that enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again."

Employees need to be treated like adults...

The original sundial.

Cubits? Haven't You gone metric yet?

'Treat me easy this morning.'

'Please don't read anything into the minutes, Ms. Thomas. Just reading the minutes will suffice.'

"We're all metric now..."

'What do you mean, you've used up your advance?'

'Are you worried about layoffs?'

Change of Management - Fortunes Told

'Absent any details, in purely visual terms, I like it.'

'That's three strikes. You're Out!'

Checking watch

Executive's in and out boxes are labeled - One Ear and The Other.

"Right, - I've released the Kraken....um...er....now how do I retrieve the Kraken...?"

"I demand to speak with the manager!"

'Looks like he's hitting his targets'

"You just self-deprecated yourself right out of a job."

Trivia Knight