Medieval Times Lover Pillows

Castle with parking lot.

"Maybe if we put stone statues in their place, no one will notice that they've flown away."

"Sir Eustache is searching for a coaster for the holy grail."

Messanger Running Into Castle as Drawbridge Shuts Behind Him.

King Arthur on the lake trying to open letters when the lady of the lake offers a letter opener.

Pirate

'Which one of you told Glurk to stretch before running?'

'OK, so I fumbled. Now can you cure it or not?'

Dragon and Dragoff

'A message from the Vikings, sire. It says, 'we've got spirit! Yes, we do! We've got spirit! How about you!?'

Next Time-Portal 5 Miles...

'Good news from the field, sire! Attila did not like the referee's call, so he's folding up his tents, taking his ball and going home!'

'He'll stop being so smug when he gets his first dent.'

"It appears to be a giant boil, sire."

'The knights are drawing closer'

'Thank goodness he's gone through sensitivity training.'

"I'm not an intern, I'm a squire. I'm not an intern, I'm a squire..."

"But they told me I was too big to fail."

Disraeli becomes Earl of Beaconsfield

A monk illustrates a manuscript with emojis

John Stuart Mill

'And there he was shouting: 'A horse, a horse, my kingdom for a horse!'... I thought to myself: Why not...'

'The king wants a gesture, not a jester.'

Victorian Pub Scene

Remounts for the Yeomanry

'I envisioned something more robust'

"Ground score!"

Antique Selfie

'What's this I hear about you running against me?'

"A fire-breathing dragon represents the conflict you have with the Lord of the Manor."

Knight offers his opponent a glass of wine.

'I don't suppose an apology would suffice?'

"Not only do I curse you but your descendants also. Know that they will be so heavily taxed they'll be forced to open this castle as a tourist attraction!"

Knights jousting on pinatas

John Wycliffe