Medieval Comedy Lover Pillows

'Ethelred - What we're offering is the chance to consolidate all your Danegeld payments into one manageable lump sum.'

Primitive magician

"Can you juggle a household, three kids, and a career?"

Dragon and Dragoff

Next Time-Portal 5 Miles...

"I'd like you to see an Anthropologist.''

'The knights are drawing closer'

'No, you weren't there. But in your expert opinion as a certified brainiac, do you think he did it?'

National Liberty and Tax Codes.

'So, ten thousand pounds could be yours if you call in and answer this question...Why the hell aren't you in bed?!'

"But they told me I was too big to fail."

'This snuff video you sold me just shows people taking snuff.'

A monk illustrates a manuscript with emojis

'And there he was shouting: 'A horse, a horse, my kingdom for a horse!'... I thought to myself: Why not...'

Actually, I slayed it for the castle's resale value, but don't tell her that.

"Wait! First, his attorney."

'What's this I hear about you running against me?'

"Ground score!"

"Okay, so the current occupants are being tormented by supernatural forces, but they do agree to pay closing costs."

'This feels a bit strange: Are you really from the Blood Bank?'

Knight offers his opponent a glass of wine.

'I'm afraid we only publish A list celebrity cookbooks.'

'We rape, pillage and kill. THAT'S our corporate mission statement.'

"There's got to be a better way to make butter."

"Caw blimey Missus"-"He's a Carry-On Crow"

'You can come out now, Harold. Economists say a recession won't happen.'

Sorry, you've been replaced by an app.

John Wycliffe

'God's teeth - it's just not the same!'

I don't care if you did win the bloody X-Factor. You're dealing with the H-Factor here.

A knight struggling to fit into his armour

Yes, I'm sure I existed. 404 not found.

'I don't suppose an apology would suffice?'

"Hey!! Look!!!"

"Well, you did say that you were just looking for something to get you started on the property ladder."