Medieval Mood Lifter Gifts

"Don't talk to me before discover coffee."

The day the stock market went UP.

'Sire, your new fortress was fine for your nephew's fifth, but I fear it is set for a sterner test.'

Knight Golfing

"You're new here ... it's customary on dismal Monday mornings to be miserable."

"Our focus group will butcher your focus group."

Missing You.

"Dare I ask for mustard?"

'Don't bother Daddy -- He fell in the moat again.'

"To begin with, I would like to express my sincere thanks and deep appreciation for the opportunity to meet with you. While there are still profound differences between us, I think the very fact of my presence here today is a major breakthrough."

"Say! While I'm off in the Holy Land, why don't you find a little crusade of some kind that interests you?"

How Optimism Works

'How do you think he stays so merry through the holidays?!'

Back to school.

Knights of the Square Table.

"We'll settle this the old-fashioned way - with a dance-off."

"Never gonna give thou up -- Never gonna let thou down -- Never gonna run around and desert thouuuuuu."

"You fools! That's not the boiling oil, that's my beef casserole!"

'You can't recuse yourself from a war!'

"It doesn't do you any good being depressed about your job, because you're stuck doing it for the rest of your life."

'I hate to tell you this, but there was a hole in my pocket, and I lost the budget surplus.'

'The king wants a gesture, not a jester.'

Knights

"Friend or foe?"

"With a little luck he'll be a benevolent teenager."

'Sounds like someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed.'

"This is the first time you've ever planned a moat, I'm guessing?"

"Dad, it's Friday. Can I borrow the siege tower tonight?"

"I think I'm making progress. One of them asked a follow-up question today."

Historic Danish man using his helmet as a trumpet.

A dragon has eaten my knight, please help.