Medieval Mixer T-Shirts

"That's the Press Corps Hospitality Tent. We had better get tooled up and make a start."

"Don't even interact with him. He just likes to say 'Kalamazoo.'"

"It isn't much of a dragon, but then, she wasn't much of a maiden."

"Where did you say you went to culinary school?"

'..and one for the pot.'

Old songs made new

"Is that neat whisky?"

'I'm afraid it's Daddy you have to impress-he's a RSPCA inspector!'

"Sir George! How did it go with your jousting competition at the Renaissance Fair?"

'This is taking forever. We should've just microwaved it.'

"All I've got left is smoked."

Competitors complained that Sir Hops-A-Lot's souther steed gave him an unfair advantage."

"Sooo....my wife and I saw you from across the bar."

'You can't pour the boiling oil over them yet - I'm still cooking the chips !'

Humpty Dumpty is sitting on a wall, Below is a man with a boiling pot waiting for him to land in it, Man is licking is lips, he has napkin on and is holding a knife and fork,

"Bloody Cyclops!"

Jester

"Ah-sod it! I think I'll get a takeaway instead..."

Santa's close call with the Cow Jumping over the Moon.

'I'm not eating it, not if it's been genetically modified.'

Dragon roasts a chicken impaled on a knight's sword.

Beethoven's 10th

"Um...David, a word if we may."

Nasdaq, Meshach and Abednego

"... And would sir like a straw with that?"

Witching Hour

Vampire Cocktail.

"He likes music and he likes comedy, but he hates musical comedies."

Magic Potion Micro-Brewers

Knight on horse approaches a pole vault.

Forget the potions. This Halloween I'm working on a vaccine.

"What do you mean you've got Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder?"