Medieval Mavericks Pillows

Early Resentment Towards Yuppies.

'Too late...looks like they've already been pillaged.'

"What did you say about the health of my gut biome?"

Swiss army knife

"Like that?"

'I suppose you think that's funny.'

Who's gone medieval on our ass?

Sisyphus during Covid

'Have you any W fronts?'

Medieval headlines.

Sadie, I just heard something disturbing, and I think you're the only one who can tell me whether it's true. Youtube is telling me we've lived 300 years of phantom time. Pope Gregory XIII's math was off when he created our calendar, and this is actually the year 1717. What's more, the "Middle Ages" is just a fiction the pope created to explain his rounding error. You were there, Sadie ... Did King Arthur really exist? I'll tell you all about that nice boy, as soon as I demonstrate how we dealt w

'But why do you want to transmute asparagus into cotton?'

'I'm putting you on a diet: No more fat knights, maidens only...'

How To Cut The Defense Budget

Don't bother Daddy -- he's just upset because Lady Godiva joined the anti-Crusade movement.'

'But sinister gales - with that armour?'

'You can read, right? -- I want you to check this thing for loopholes.'

A popular stall at the Giant Sunday Pack Horse Contents Sale in Newark.

'I'm a bit suspicious of that Trojan Clothes horse.'

'That was your grandfather -- his catapult went off while he was cleaning it.'

The Venerable Bede

In his Last Moments, A Soldier Seeks Forgiveness for his Sins (History of the Crusades).

Stealth fighter fly over.

"Mummy was right: - I should've married the dragon...!"

Whosoever draweth out the publishing, recording, and distribution contracts from the stone shall forever be acknowledged as the Duke of Earl, and nothing can stop him.

Sword rises, Excalibur like, from body of patient undergoing operation.

Vicar preaching at pulpit

'We only stay together for the sake of the Holy Roman Empire.'

Vlad the Employer

Sunburn.

Medieval boating on castle moat.

"Your Majesty, according to our study the shoe was lost for want of a nail, the horse was lost for want of a shoe, and the rider was lost for want of a horse, but the kingdom was lost because of overregulation."

"Some knights just aren't dragon people."

Ecclesiastical Eye Test

'Say cheese, sire!'