Medieval Mania Pillows

Soldier in medieval battle says: 'Oi, take it easy! This is an English Heritage site.'

"Yes, I'm sure. The dragon I saw was quite a bit bigger."

"I'm sorry, Your Majesty. It's always my intention to leave you laughing."

"I'm sure you'll grow into it, darling."

"Before you chop off my head, don't you think we should see a counsellor?"

"No. I can't 'let it out a bit'. It's armour, you'll just have to go on a diet!"

"Take this declaration of war and punch it up."

'Don't be silly- of course you're going into the family business!'

"He's his own worst enemy."

"Early model of baggage claim"

"I hate it when the damned things decide they need to get out and burn off some calories."

"If you let down your guard, I'll walk over the moat."

'You say the ARKS are NOT two by two?'

'Spell checker!'

'Hey, wait a minute...Apples aren't indigenous to this geopraphical region.'

Though Mr. Frackman had yet to say a word, Bill sensed he was about to receive a particularly lousy performance review.

Castle, Cafe + Gift Shop.

"Messenger, dost thou bring me good news or dost thou bring me bad news?"

"Like that?"

"I don't suppose you get many sovereign rulers in here anymore?"

"He doesn't suffer fools gladly."

It started friendly enough...'I'm Henry VIII, my dear, but you may call me 'Hank'.'

'I suppose you think that's funny.'

'Tell the salesman to come back later, I'm busy.' (black and white).

'Since Fleming already beat you to it with penicillin, I take it we can dispose of your week-old sandwich?'

"There's no way we can get him ow. He's completely under the covers."

"His Excellency the Lord Premier Gooboy."

Knighthood being given by the king

"Grant them amnesty and then hang them."

Sadie, I just heard something disturbing, and I think you're the only one who can tell me whether it's true. Youtube is telling me we've lived 300 years of phantom time. Pope Gregory XIII's math was off when he created our calendar, and this is actually the year 1717. What's more, the "Middle Ages" is just a fiction the pope created to explain his rounding error. You were there, Sadie ... Did King Arthur really exist? I'll tell you all about that nice boy, as soon as I demonstrate how we dealt w

'When did we permit the Jester to start doing impressions?'

"He's right―there is something under the bed!"

'Sire, we fixed that problem in the sales department.'

Pre-Minstrel Tension

"Your remote control, sire."