Medieval Fantasy Lover T-Shirts

"I let him think he's protecting us, too."

Knight offers his opponent a glass of wine.

Safety First.

'The King decided not to burn you at the stake after all?

"Go ahead. This one seems too arrogant."

Elfian lady grilling on mushroom: 'Summertime in the Enchanted Forest'.

"Sorry, dear... I don't have a pumpkin spiced flat white chai latte. I just have this one..."

Dragon and Dragoff

"She married and then divorced, and then she married and divorced, and then she married and lived happily ever after."

Next Time-Portal 5 Miles...

'I'm going to have to cut it - Daddy is complaining about the shampoo bill again.'

"Grandmother, what big diastolic numbers you have."

'Good news from the field, sire! Attila did not like the referee's call, so he's folding up his tents, taking his ball and going home!'

'The knights are drawing closer'

'It doesn't say what she had for dessert on Thanksgiving. It just says she made a coach out of her pumpkin.'

"Never mind the porridge, someone's stolen my woodland mushroom collection."

'Thank goodness he's gone through sensitivity training.'

"The Ruin is under new management. Specters will manage wraiths, shades and spirits. All others report to be spook resources. Bonuses will be based on team work and synergy."

Folk o' the Wee

"The third little pig built a super strong brick house so The Big Bad Wolf couldn't break in and violate the rules of social distancing."

'Is "I'll huff and I'll puff till I blow your castle down" the best intimidation we can come up with!!'

'Hey! No Tongues!'

"Wow. . . Are you expecting or did you nibble on your gingerbread house again?"

I'm ridiculously small. My nose is huge. I have ears like a jackass... Manic depressive with low elf esteem.

'This year, Sire, I've created a socko narrative of scatological raillery and rollicking nihilism which ends with a sexy justification for third quarter losses.'

Fairy godmother arrives

"I'm not an intern, I'm a squire. I'm not an intern, I'm a squire..."

'...Oh yeah? Well I've never heard of the 'denture fairy'.'

A monk illustrates a manuscript with emojis

Vampire shaving cut dilemma.

"Fashion over function!"

'And there he was shouting: 'A horse, a horse, my kingdom for a horse!'... I thought to myself: Why not...'

'Who's that painted lady?'

'The owner would have shown you around himself, but he doesn't rise untill after sunset.'