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"...and this is Ralph, your anesthesiologist."

'There they go - off on their own - and a finer bunch of fledgelings one couldn't ask.'

'I checked the database, Mrs. Nimitz. There's no such symptom.'

Doctor describes inside guts while patient has black thoughts.

Medical Building Directory: Dr. Larry Nix, Dr. Sally Putty, etc..

"When I grow up, I want to go into medicine and help people who can pay out of pocket."

There's no such thing as a triple carburetor bypass!

'I used to think I was the only one kids hated... I don't know what I'd do if it weren't for you guys.'

"Daddy, you have to flatten this curve."

Little doctor.

Coming Soon - Maternity Clinic. Coming Soon After - Law Firm Dealing in Medical Malpractice.

'What's wrong with me, Doctor?' 'I have no idea! That information comes within doctor-patient confidentiality.'

'Hah! The joke's on you — I already thought up a second opinion!'

"The good news is that your cardiac surgery was a complete success. The bad news is that we had to remove the song from your heart."

'I asked if you were affiliated with an HMO not a UFO.'

"I hope you don't mind - I'm training a brand-new assistant and I've asked her to check your blood pressure."

"When was the last time anyone checked on Mr Klink."

"You only need one prescription. The other 7 are for the side effects."

London GPs could become an endangered species.

Guide to Contagious Diseases.

"I have to get down to 125 pounds before I go back to my real gym."

'Um, can I get a FOURTH opinion?'

"I'll be fielding any questions you may have and my assistant, Carol, will be googling the answer."

'G-g-golly! One day out of med school and I'm about to perform brain surgery! Just look at that scalpel shake!'

"The doctor was more lucid today! That's a good sign!"

"I'd delighted your son wants to be a surgeon.. but that no reason to let let him practice on you."

"As soon as your dentist gets here, we'll begin."

'You're suffering from job-stress insomnia. Stop counting sheep to fall asleep.'

"I think the 'Exotic Recipe' diet will make me lose weight. I'm running all over town trying to find the ingredients!"

'We're playing doctor ??" Billy's the anesthetist.'

"So you're interested in medicine, public relations, business, contract negotiations and insurance law? Which one will you study in school?"

Parts Department

"He looks so much like his dad."

What will the little one be? Epidemiologist? Virologist? PPE manufacturer?

'I cause sneezes.' 'I cause fever' 'I cause that 'I don't know- I just don't feel too good' feeling.'