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'Help Doctor!! My baby swallowed a pencil!'

'I checked the database, Mrs. Nimitz. There's no such symptom.'

Doctor describes inside guts while patient has black thoughts.

"We're keeping you overnight because the nurses love you!"

Medical Building Directory: Dr. Larry Nix, Dr. Sally Putty, etc..

'There they go - off on their own - and a finer bunch of fledgelings one couldn't ask.'

There's no such thing as a triple carburetor bypass!

"When I grow up, I want to go into medicine and help people who can pay out of pocket."

'I used to think I was the only one kids hated... I don't know what I'd do if it weren't for you guys.'

Little doctor.

'What's wrong with me, Doctor?' 'I have no idea! That information comes within doctor-patient confidentiality.'

Coming Soon - Maternity Clinic. Coming Soon After - Law Firm Dealing in Medical Malpractice.

'I asked if you were affiliated with an HMO not a UFO.'

'Hah! The joke's on you — I already thought up a second opinion!'

"The good news is that your cardiac surgery was a complete success. The bad news is that we had to remove the song from your heart."

"I hope you don't mind - I'm training a brand-new assistant and I've asked her to check your blood pressure."

London GPs could become an endangered species.

"When was the last time anyone checked on Mr Klink."

"You only need one prescription. The other 7 are for the side effects."

'G-g-golly! One day out of med school and I'm about to perform brain surgery! Just look at that scalpel shake!'

"This is for the pain and these are for the side effects."

"The doctor was more lucid today! That's a good sign!"

"As soon as your dentist gets here, we'll begin."

"I'd delighted your son wants to be a surgeon.. but that no reason to let let him practice on you."

"So you're interested in medicine, public relations, business, contract negotiations and insurance law? Which one will you study in school?"

Parts Department

'We're playing doctor ??" Billy's the anesthetist.'

Doctors Discussion

Become a Cosmetic Surgeon - Raise a Few Eyebrows!

What will the little one be? Epidemiologist? Virologist? PPE manufacturer?

"I hear he's taking an experimental drug called, 'It Ain't Over Till It's Over.'"

"Fruity nose, hints of wild cherry, soothing on the palate, goes well with cough and cold."

Healthy Patients Only

Doctors