Medicine Collector T-Shirts

'Dr Yomp's laxatives works for you, and loosens up the slots at the casino!'

'What do you recommend for the collecting bug?'

"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."

'It's genuine 17th century satsuma - and the pair would have been worth ?14,000.'

"No, I won't write your prescription legibly...you'd just google it and ask a lot of dumb questions."

'Heirloom Tiffany Lamp Delivery. I Brake for Everything.'

'It seats two comfortably.'

His cubicle had come to be known as 'Teddy Bear Heaven'.

'... Going once...going twice...aaaand--sold! To the gentleman in the front row for a thousand words.'

'...So you claim this is genuine Rembrandt?'

A fire extinguisher box with band aids in them has a sign above with reads, "In case you cut yourself breaking glass break this glass."

What the patient heard and what the doctor meant to convey.

'Now you know where you left your tools.'

'Hi, I'm looking for something small and portable!'

"Twenty-five thousand, do I hear thirty thousand? Let me remind you all - this is the last Thin Mint cookie in the sleeve..."

"Fetch, Ernie, fetch!"

Hague Convention Defied! Failure of the new Tommy-Scalder.

"I wonder what this was for."

Doric, Ionic, Corinthian, and Broken Pillars.

"I'm sorry, I can't assist with this request."

"Hey, Dad, guess what? My Honus Wagner baseball card is worth $2.1 million!"

"I like wine gadgets more than I like the wine!"

"It's a flip phone. I guess we can document this as an ancient, archaeological discovery."

Side Effects

'How old is this vase?'

"I never expected you to pay through the nose."

Jazz Bagpipes

'Your entire library consists of nothing but tabloids bound in Corinthian leather?'

'Well...all right...go ahead.'

'It's a medical miracle. According to your notes you should have been dead years ago!'

"Hmm interesting Hallmark..."

'...but the good new is your old Enron stock has become a high-priced collectible!'

"As a confirmed hypochondriac, I rely on placebos to get me through the day."

Doubling Gloucester Cheeses

Pawnshop: Genuine Fake Watches.