Medical Degree Collector T-Shirts

'Well...all right...go ahead.'

"Make a lot of money."

A boy is sat at a desk, with five plaques implying different qualifications he has earned from using social media.

"I have a Bachelor's degree from Columbia, an MBA from Stanford, six years experience, and I'm a hell of a mouser."

Congratulations, and thanks for the $86,000... Congratulations, and thanks for the $86,000...

'So you have a PhD, big deal, everyone working here has one! The question is, what can you really do?'

Personnel. I've heard of "magna cum laude" and "summa cum laude," but I've never heard of a person graduating "persona non grata." (Published originally on June 3, 1981.)

"I see here that you are a recent graduate."

'School of hard knocks.'

Graduate

'A bachelor's? Big deal - I have a MASTER'S degree in enlightenment!'

A fire extinguisher box with band aids in them has a sign above with reads, "In case you cut yourself breaking glass break this glass."

'I have an MBA, but I've never MBAed.'

What the patient heard and what the doctor meant to convey.

"Congratulations. Please remember the college's financial plight. Congratulations. Please remember the college's financial plight. Congratulations. Please remember . . ."

Bachelors and Masters degrees.

"First I'm getting a Bachelor's Degree, the a Master's Degree, then a Doctor's Degree!"

Side Effects

No room to hang his diploma.

'My son has college degrees in psychology, economics and political science. He can't get a job but at least he knows why.'

'Mom! Hunter keeps saying I'm not a thoroughbred. Can you show him my papers?'

'...then I got my masters in psychology, and a year later I earned my Ph.D. in sociology. By the time I get my master in math and my doctorate in history, I'll be ready to retire.'

'It's a medical miracle. According to your notes you should have been dead years ago!'

"I majored in sheep with a minor in cat herding."

Time traveller of the year, 3173, A.D.

"As a confirmed hypochondriac, I rely on placebos to get me through the day."

"The best part is, for me history is now history!"

' I see that you have a B.A. degree in stapling and collating. Your parents must be very proud of you.'

'I told you - they'll send me all these impressive looking diplomas when I pay off my student debt!'

"Terrific - degrees from the macaroni institute and the cheese academy."

'This is a pick 'n' mix ward - you choose your own medicine.'

"Isn't that cute? He's reading his diplomas again."

More Education Needed

"Here it is -- my E-school diploma coming off the printer!"

"He thinks he's so smart with his 360 degrees!"