Collecting Diplomas T-Shirts

"Some guys from the state board of medicine are here to see you."

A boy is sat at a desk, with five plaques implying different qualifications he has earned from using social media.

(Visual gag) Wellard's annual BIG HANDBAG SALE!! A woman is dragging a huge bag out from a bag shop

"I guess I was a good shot, because I took down 50 Nazis...all by myself. That's how I got my silver star. Honestly, I don't consider myself a hero. I consider myself lucky."

'Sir, will that be business or first class?'

"I have a Bachelor's degree from Columbia, an MBA from Stanford, six years experience, and I'm a hell of a mouser."

Cat Show

Goldilocks and the seventeen black shoulder bags

Fragile stamper.

Congratulations, and thanks for the $86,000... Congratulations, and thanks for the $86,000...

Personnel. I've heard of "magna cum laude" and "summa cum laude," but I've never heard of a person graduating "persona non grata." (Published originally on June 3, 1981.)

"I see here that you are a recent graduate."

'School of hard knocks.'

Graduate

I love you.

'I have an MBA, but I've never MBAed.'

'Yes, death signifies a cosmic change of address. Alas, your husband's mail will not be forwarded.'

'A bachelor's? Big deal - I have a MASTER'S degree in enlightenment!'

"The labor market is awaiting you!"

Happy Champion

GLAD-YOU-ATION

Morton's pride was understandable. He was the first in the Pinhead Family to ever graduate.

"Congratulations. Please remember the college's financial plight. Congratulations. Please remember the college's financial plight. Congratulations. Please remember . . ."

The Generals medals

Bachelors and Masters degrees.

"First I'm getting a Bachelor's Degree, the a Master's Degree, then a Doctor's Degree!"

"I've been a postie for 20 years. . ."

Vampire laying in his coffin wearing a Smiley badge.

'I still don't understand why I couldn't use the path to get your Jane Austen stamps.'

Champions biting their medals

"One trip to the dentist and look who's got the attitude!"

'A late payment and a friendly reminder cross paths in the mail.'

No room to hang his diploma.

'My son has college degrees in psychology, economics and political science. He can't get a job but at least he knows why.'

'This one is for not making a pre-emptive strike against anyone questioning our authority to make pre-emptive strikes.'