Medication Forgetter Pillows

"I've been having stomach problems. I sit on the bathroom for 30 minutes in the morning...and a half-hour in the evening."

"This drug us guaranteed safe as long as you consistently forget to take it."

'They were going to get married when they were young, but he kept forgetting the wedding date!'

'I can't believe this.. biggest fight of my life, and I forget to pack a wallop.'

'You can stop looking-I just remembered I didn't wear my retainer today. Funny, huh?'

'...And for those of you who cant remember the words...'

Student to other: 'I keep forgetting to return my library books on 'boomerangs' and ... what was the other one? Oh yeah, 'memory improvement'.'

"You don't seem to know your lines." "That's because I'm an understudy."

I add 1,000 steps every day just going back to my car to get the mask I was supposed to put on."

'Terrific commercial. I'm sold. You'll start on that medicine immediately.'

"I don't know the lyrics either, so I just hum along."

"Sorry I left the keys in the car, now it's gone!"

'He broke his wrist trying to open his medicine.'

'There's something I never do, now if I could just remember what it was.'

"I told him 1 tranquilizer every 4 hours, not 4 tranquilizers every 1 hour."

"S**t! I forgot the mask!"

'You can come back in, King Kong. The superintendent got the door open.'

"The only thing I've learned from my mistakes is that apparently I'll keep making them."

"Your tired eyes are red and irritated because you put sleeping medicine in them. That's not how it works, Mr. Jenkins."

There comes a point when you may have to admit the truth: you stink.

"Viagra looks way too much like Aleve!"

'Why do I hum? Because I forgot the words!'

'Now, what did I do with that medication that's for improving memory?'

"I forgot why I came in here, but maybe I just came in here to forget."

'What goes good with white pills?'

"Did you forget to take your medication dear?"

'Hey, this side effect isn't listed on the medication's instructions!'

"Why do I hum? Because I forgot the words!"

'Sorry about this, but I lost my wife's grocery list.'

'You're acting strangely Albert. You've just taken your angina capsule before your cholesterol and anti-inflammatory pills!'