Medicare Memer Gifts

'As you know, medical costs have skyrocketed -- that'll be fifty cents.'

Text Culture

'City Traders - The Complete Menagerie'

Darren had lost his edge as a 'yes' man...

'We'll be outsourcing Main Street.'

'We're under a lot of time-pressure here, so we'll need to jump to conclusions.'

"Any further comments? Alright then, we're adjourned."

'It's been a tough quarter, so in lieu of bonuses, you'll all be receiving a DVD of out-takes from our meetings.'

'It was here when Harris decided to 'tweak' things a bit...'

"We're not doing virtual meetings anymore, Stu."

"Does our improvement really need to be so continuous?"

The Web is mightier than the sword.

Now, gentlemen, doesn't the smaller table make these board meetings more cozy?'

"Are you kids going to behave, or do I have to put my foot down?!"

'If youth is wasted on youth, I'd just as well spend my time social networking.'

"Dislocating your jaw yawning during my lecture on work related injuries is NOT a work related injury!"

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'You should see a doctor. Maybe you have that West Nile thing.'

'Now, 'ol doc, he'd have wrapped 'er the other way.'

'I see your site doesn't have a 'like' button. The good news is it doesn't need one.'

The Evolution of Pop Culture Scapegoats

"And then I met some computer people who could make it look as if I were talking."

"Poison ivy? No, I said you have a poison IV. Honestly, I have no idea why we keep that stuff right next to the medicine."

"I hope they're not fake commandments!"

'He was a lifelong knee-jerk liberal until he got knee replacement surgery.'

'She's a little upset. Apparently, when the cosmetic surgeon asked her what kind of chin she'd like, she thought he said gin and asked for a double.'

'Norton, couldn't you have taken care of that before the meeting?'

The Potato Salad Society

'I had to co-pay for the bagel.'

America's Funniest Encrypted Passwords

I've spent much less time with other people recently, but my refrigerator and I have never had a closer relationship.

"I didn't endorse him, but I 'Liked' him on Facebook."

'There have been some mutterings that the partnership council is just window dressing...'

Chatterbox Monkey

'The meeting was cancelled after an outbreak of contagious yawning.'