Medical Tourism Maven Pillows

"I picked this one up in France while my wife had her hip replaced."

'A problem with the Phase II trials. Everyone - all the people - was given the placebo, and no one got the drug.'

"Yeah, I know. bu tthe administration didn't want to appear culturally insensitive."

"The saying Use It or Lose It isn’t referring to one’s appetite."

Superbug Research Go For It / Got it

'You seem quieter tonight. Did they give you something to help you relax?'

"That's a big fat lie!"

'She's one of our nurses hiding from the patient load.'

The Canary in the Coal Mine

"We think we got some good CT scans, but unfortunately they're encrypted and our I.T. guy is on vacation this week."

'The good news is that it's not your fault.'

The end is near

Podiatry. The greated podiatrist of all time, you say? Yep. I studied at his feet.

Look on the bright side...they'll probably name a disease after you.

'I know my instruments are sterilized every day but I have no idea who does it.'

'I'm a practical nurse! -- I know better than to listen to doctors!'

'Well, we're off for our xmas break - I'm sure you can manage without us for a couple of weeks.'

'Gastroenterology...do I know that?'

Vaccine hurdles

'We're trying to use a team approach to medicine, but we're having trouble fitting everyone!'

'Where does it hurt?'

ANd the Oscar for the best special side effects goes to ASTRAZENECA!

"You just made medical history Mr Burnside. Your're the first one ever struck by lightning while on a bed pan."

Orthopedics. Pediatrics. Stuff they never taught your in nursing school.

"Dad, I want to become a doctor. I already know something about anatomy: A human being consists of a head, a belly, legs, arms, and a smartphone."

"Don't just stand there gawping women! Give me a hand with my monthly salary!"

'I had a taste of my own medicine yesterday - Yuck!'

"Recent studies now show that people who use the aphorism ‘whatever doesn’t kill you makes you stronger’ have compromised immune systems."

"She's all surgery and he's all pharmacy."

Case in Point

"In a nutshell Mr. Beesley, you have hypochondria."

"Oh no, those aren't recharging stations for phones. We have those there so physicians can get themselves recharged!"

'You forgot you list of possible side-effects.'

'I have a lot of stock in Zorex Drugs, and I only want medicine that they make.'

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