Medically Curious Travelers Pillows

Doctors' Tour

"My diet plan for you is if it tastes good, spit it out."

''Exercise'? -- But I hate to eat and run!'

"They don't look familiar...probably from another fecal transplant."

Stonehenge Books

"You have twenty eight days to live."

"Two weeks in France with a cataract operation, no problem."

"Armstrong, you're the cheapest cheapskate on earth." "Not yet, but a man can dream." "This toothache is killing me but I have no money and no insurance. Do you know where I can find a really cheap dentist?" "Of course. I can give you my guy's name. He works for peanuts." "I’ll get a pen." "You’ll also need a passport and lots of penicillin."

"Hello, A and E, which department do you need, stabbing, shooting or general GBH?"

"He has a pretty rare blood group."

At Travel Agent - "We're interested in a no-diarrhea itinery."

Medical floor directory follows body parts.

'My client is therefore NOT guilty of malpractice. All he is guilty of is an error in judgment. He should have decided to be a plumber."

"It's just what I suspected: Obstruction of Justice."

"By golly, that is a nasty rash...but I'm actually a Doctor of Philosophy!"

A woman is staring at someone's feet when they are in an MRI machine.

"They say there's no cannibalism on the island, but they're willing to give it a try."

Intensive Care in the Community

"Well I'm out of ideas, here, anyone else want to give this a stab?"

'These tablets are magic and not habit-forming, as long as you don't miss taking one every single day...'

'O.K, Everyone let's do some yoga!'

'Benny wanted a closed casket service...but, since you traveled so far to be here...I can give you a quick peek for ten dollars.'

"Nothing beats going abroad to discover new types of cheese: you have to try Camel Cheese!"

Carl's Glass- Bottom Bus Tours

"Right, now have got everything - passports, airline tickets, parachutes..."

Fat lady standing on a weighing machine. It's print out says 'I Quit!'.

'Calvin has laryngitis, but he never complains.'

'Tourists bring in money ... and sometimes... Hong Kong flu!"

A Reasonable Time For Concern - 'Hello Crematorium?'

'Before I escort you to your hotel, would you like to see Brest?'

"It's mostly my medications and adjustable mattress."

"After reviewing your credit history, I'm going to refer you to a specialist in Mexico."

"We'd prefer the sort of place where we won't catch any disfiguring diseases or be killed by fanatics."

'Happy 18th birthday, son, and congrats on finally overcoming your bout with childhood obesity.'