Medical Science Fan Gifts

Vaccine race

"What's that mark on your arm, Mama?"

Figures from 'Ascent of Man' diagram all do the Conga: 'Let's all fo the Conga, na-na-na-na ...'

Think Tank

"When was the last time anyone checked on Mr Klink."

'We don't have a cure for your ailment but there is an appropriate app available.'

''Science moves but slowly, slowly, creeping on from point to point'. Tennyson.'

'Madam, this is not pornography. It is a textbook on obsterics and gynecology...'

"No son of mine is going into entomology."

"Actually, not all roses are red. Sometimes they're white as well as numerous other colours. Also I think you'll find that violets are sort of purple..."

'I was a junior doctor when I started this shift.'

"Trepanning for gold"

'He's making tremendous progress. last week he had three tails.'

"Some dinosaurs died out more quickly than others" "You want some?"

"She introduces herself as Drosophila Melanogaster, but everyone knows she's just a common fruit fly."

"Hey Neil, I've got an idea - let's really freak everyone out and tell them you're quitting physics to become my new co-Pope."

Storm chaser van with satellite dish and Storm in a teacup chaser van with cup & spoon.

Life in The Halfassic Age

Hospital Gift Shop

"The good news is your weight and cholesterol are stable. The bad news is the research has changed."

'I should try the polyclinic, sir.'

"We use leeches on the test subjects and slugs on the control group."

'Sorry, Dr. Schmertzdorf — that was my right brain talking.'

"Take two aspirin and email me in the morning."

"My discovery may not win a Nobel prize, Edmund. . . but the world can always use a better tasting toothpaste!"

"Oh, here's the problem. He's got a doohickey on his thingamabob."

The Bacteria Bowl

Yes, I do think second opinions can be worthwhile, but not from 'Evonica, All-Knowing Mystical Seer and Soothsayer'!