Medical Tech Fan Gifts

'We don't have a cure for your ailment but there is an appropriate app available.'

"Tut tut. You're only having a baby, if you had my flu last week you'd know what real pain was."

'Still no improvement? Nurse, attach more gizmos.'

Operation Tattoo

"I asked my investment advisor for something that was low cost, easy to manage, and also functions on its own. He suggested an index fund or a robo vac."

Vaccine race

'First Rogaine, now Viagra'

Freak Accident Specialist

"Take two aspirin and email me in the morning."

'I should try the polyclinic, sir.'

"The good news is your weight and cholesterol are stable. The bad news is the research has changed."

We'd like to run a few tests to see how this thing works.

"Yeah, your drone is cool. But can you fly it upside down and cut the grass?"

"Oh, here's the problem. He's got a doohickey on his thingamabob."

"Those sinus pills you prescribed didn't work, doc...I put three up my nose every day for a week and I'm still congested!"

Horses and men? You call that a healthcare system?

"Your scan showed up a kidney stone, but I've deleted it in Photoshop."

"But I'm hot on the trail of my Google doppelgänger."

Health Care Parade

"I don't mind the wheezing. It drowns out the sound of my boss' voice."

A hospital chart is being dragged off down a mouse hole.

"How do I know you're not malingering?"

"The good news is your virus is gone. The bad news is it infected your electronic health records."

New Hospital Train- Stretchers Suspended by Rubber Bands

Dr. Jarvik, and his lesser known invention, the artificial soul.

What we thought Elon Musk did...What Elon Musk actually does...

'Oops! Turn down the power on this lazer thing, will you.'

"My biometrics authentication just told me I needed a shave."

"Your electronic medical records were accidentally deleted. You'll have to start over again with acne."

Long before Louis Pasteur's epic work, pioneer researcher Boris Zamochovich...

Free Range Computers.

'Believe me, you're not the first customer who's dropped their phone in the litter box.'

"You see, Murphy's finger is coming from North Korea or someplace, but my finger comes up and hits Murphy's finger. That's how the Missile Defense system will work--if it works."

Plug in Stethoscope

"They're working miracles with felt-tipped markers these day!"