Medical Researchers Gifts

Another successful recruitment drive for the Collins University Medical Research Center.

'It was more of a 'triple blind' test. The patients didn't know which ones were getting the real drug, the doctors didn't know, and, I'm afraid nobody knew.'

'Now what do we do? All our experimental subjects called in healthy!'

Looking for the cause of high health care costs. . .

"Maybe it wasn't such a smart idea for you to have left everything to science."

"We've come up with a new drug to combat 'greed', but it's $90 per pill."

Swine flu

Minority Group Access To Assisted Reproduction.

Trump Policies to Cut Medical Research

'You want to leave your body to science - how about someone with A-level science?'

'There's a lot we don't want to know about this disease.'

'These are requesting to be unfrozen when healthcare costs are affordable.'

"Got my name down for a pioneering head transplant -- just waiting for the right head donor."

"And when the canyon fills up, that's it; herd immunity."

Monkeypox/Humanpox

One bowl of soup and now we're all in it.

"Ya know, 'DUH' can be a very hurtful word."

"Do you want to play doctorate?"

"Chocolate? I can't be allergic to chocolate! I'm a kid, can't you say I'm allergic to spinach or broccoli?"

Where your mind & battle are los

The Jeopardy of Progress

Pounding speeds up the computer.

'... And some primitive cultures, believed that 'the great ones' modelled us from clay.'

"She's fine. She just needs some tofu."

Enhanced Pedophilia Interrogation Techniques

"My older self travels back just to remind me to put the cap back on this pen?"

Lady taking her little dog to the chemist with a cough

'I remember when you used to look for answers using your astute powers of deduction.'

2021

A female patient in an exam room sees a sign that reads, 'Break glass in case of physician burnout'

"Boy, am I glad they finally hired more staff!"

Circa 1928, The Reese's Candy laboratory.

'Dr.Sall Thompson got so excited over the new spring design she took a quantum leap!'

'Medical school's been more challenging since the cadavers turned into zombies.'

"Do you want to pretend to be a doctor and I'll pretend to be a hotshot civil litigation attorney who sues you till your ears bleed?"