Medical Rehabilitation Gifts

Handicap parking sign for person in hospital bed.

"I'm afraid we'll have to operate. Your appendix has an infection and it's extremely aggressive."

'ooh! A womb with a view.'

'You seem rather ungrateful Mr. Jenkins. This new drug means you'll never have hayfever again.'

Saline Drip Sommelier.

'Oh, well... Accidents will happen.'

"I'm sorry, Chuckles. We had to remove your funny bone."

'Time for your pills.'

"I'm sure he'll pull through. He's always been a real fighter."

Substance Abuse Seminar: How Not To Get Hooked!

Humpty Dumpty in Occupational Therapy

'During the heart-transplant, since it was your birthday, I went ahead and added two more inches, no charge.'

Cranial-Metal Plate Surgery Centre

Dog leading a blind dog and blind person.

"The x-rays came back, and — I'm sorry, but we found a very large attachment."

"This lovely song tells of a young, pretty actress, her ups and downs, and how she found happiness after rehab."

Infected Macron

"Here they come: Detox and Botox."

'I'm having my colon checked.'

"While you were under, I had all your friends come in and sign your heart stent."

'You're going to have to give up painting ceilings, Michelangelo !'

A football game appears on the operating theatres monitor instead of the patients heartbeat.

'Can't talk now, I'm just going into a tunnel.'

Healthy Eating Casualties

"He detects disease."

Celebration in operating theatre.

"Uh, try unplugging him, then plugging him back in."

'Thanks for leaving that sponge in me, Doc. Now I can drink twice as much wine.'

'We don't serve hospital food anymore. It's airline food.'

"Doc says my nerves are shot and I should avoid stress. I think I'll have some herbal tea and go to bed."

He was out in no time, with a new outlook and a clean slate.

"This patient must be really rich! He brought back the most extravagant illnesses from exotic holiday spots."

When he got the wrong medication, no one would own up to it. They were real good at covering their own butts.

Cause of death: Just one of those things.