Medical Rehabilitation Gifts

Handicap parking sign for person in hospital bed.

"I'm afraid we'll have to operate. Your appendix has an infection and it's extremely aggressive."

'ooh! A womb with a view.'

'See? The idiots put my danged knee replacement in backward!'

'You seem rather ungrateful Mr. Jenkins. This new drug means you'll never have hayfever again.'

Saline Drip Sommelier.

'Time for your pills.'

"I'm sorry, Chuckles. We had to remove your funny bone."

'Oh, well... Accidents will happen.'

"I'm sure he'll pull through. He's always been a real fighter."

Substance Abuse Seminar: How Not To Get Hooked!

Humpty Dumpty in Occupational Therapy

'During the heart-transplant, since it was your birthday, I went ahead and added two more inches, no charge.'

"Here they come: Detox and Botox."

"This lovely song tells of a young, pretty actress, her ups and downs, and how she found happiness after rehab."

"The x-rays came back, and — I'm sorry, but we found a very large attachment."

Cranial-Metal Plate Surgery Centre

Infected Macron

Dog leading a blind dog and blind person.

'I'm having my colon checked.'

"While you were under, I had all your friends come in and sign your heart stent."

'You're going to have to give up painting ceilings, Michelangelo !'

A football game appears on the operating theatres monitor instead of the patients heartbeat.

"He detects disease."

'Thanks for leaving that sponge in me, Doc. Now I can drink twice as much wine.'

Healthy Eating Casualties

Celebration in operating theatre.

"I'm sorry, Doctor, when you said benign growth, I thought you were referring to my husband."

"This patient must be really rich! He brought back the most extravagant illnesses from exotic holiday spots."

"Doc says my nerves are shot and I should avoid stress. I think I'll have some herbal tea and go to bed."

'We don't serve hospital food anymore. It's airline food.'

"Uh, try unplugging him, then plugging him back in."

'Can't talk now, I'm just going into a tunnel.'

He was out in no time, with a new outlook and a clean slate.

When he got the wrong medication, no one would own up to it. They were real good at covering their own butts.