Medical Mix-up Enthusiasts Pillows

'If you please, sir, Mother's took the lotion, and rubbed her leg with the mixture!'

'There is no need to be alarmed, Mr. Shaw - there's been a mix-up in the laundry.'

If these are your medications, what happened to the beads I bought?

"Sorry, that's not my table."

'Under blood type, sir, could you be a little more specific than blue?'

'I suppose you're going to tell me I need new contact lenses.'

'Breast implants? There must be some mistake. I have you down for knee surgery not breast implants!'

'But I only came in to have my appendix out!'

'You came through the delivery with flying colors, Mrs. Lewis.'

"Well... the good news is we've dealt with your ingrowing toenail..!"

'Continue to support sex education in the schools if you want to, but Billy just told me that he resulted when your sperm met my omelet.'

"How do I get Nurse Jenkins to stop saying 'I told you so'?"

'Oops - it's not a stethoscope - it's my ipod!'

"Right now someone is saying 'Look, somebody threw out a perfectly good briefcase!"

'I gave you a few extra stitches - Your husband's idea, really!'

"Nurse, you've mixed up the helium and oxygen again haven't you ?"

'Your chart here says you've had some sort of allergic reaction to frogs' legs...can you be more specific?'

"Bert's Bakery? I think there's a pissed-off Bucks Party somewhere, standing around our wedding cake."

'Mr Mundello, when I said strip to the waist, I meant for you to start at the top.'

"No, this is not 'returns,' and that's not a receipt … it's a birth certificate!"

'George...George! Have you seen the fly-spray anywhere?'

"Gina remembers where she left her pen... No wonder I can't write with this. It's a rectal thermometer."

"Please forgive me, I seem to have misplaced my spectacles. Will the happy couple please step forward?"

'Strip DOWN to your waist, Mr Yomp, not UP!'

'I don't give a damn what the chart says! i did not have a hysterectomy!!!'

"What a screwup. I was only supposed to get a hip replacement."

'Advanced access' isn't REALLY about you booking an appointment in advance of having anything wrong with you!

'Okay, you're due for a lube job, fluid levels check and a new ball joint. Oh, skip that...this is my list...'

"Uh, oh...I was supposed to rub this on your back..."

'When I asked if she was critical I didn't mean verbally!'

'No nurse! - I said check their obs!'

'You're an auto mechanic - are you going to want any of the old parts?'

"Do you call this a party! I've been to livelier funerals!"

'You're right. It does look infected. But I'm just the janitor.'

Hospital "They fell off the back of a trolley"