Medical Mix-up Enthusiasts Pillows

'If you please, sir, Mother's took the lotion, and rubbed her leg with the mixture!'

'There is no need to be alarmed, Mr. Shaw - there's been a mix-up in the laundry.'

'See? The idiots put my danged knee replacement in backward!'

"Sorry, that's not my table."

If these are your medications, what happened to the beads I bought?

'Under blood type, sir, could you be a little more specific than blue?'

'I suppose you're going to tell me I need new contact lenses.'

'Breast implants? There must be some mistake. I have you down for knee surgery not breast implants!'

'But I only came in to have my appendix out!'

'You came through the delivery with flying colors, Mrs. Lewis.'

'Continue to support sex education in the schools if you want to, but Billy just told me that he resulted when your sperm met my omelet.'

'Oops - it's not a stethoscope - it's my ipod!'

'I gave you a few extra stitches - Your husband's idea, really!'

"Right now someone is saying 'Look, somebody threw out a perfectly good briefcase!"

"Well... the good news is we've dealt with your ingrowing toenail..!"

"How do I get Nurse Jenkins to stop saying 'I told you so'?"

"Nurse, you've mixed up the helium and oxygen again haven't you ?"

'Your chart here says you've had some sort of allergic reaction to frogs' legs...can you be more specific?'

"Bert's Bakery? I think there's a pissed-off Bucks Party somewhere, standing around our wedding cake."

"No, this is not 'returns,' and that's not a receipt … it's a birth certificate!"

'George...George! Have you seen the fly-spray anywhere?'

'Strip DOWN to your waist, Mr Yomp, not UP!'

'Mr Mundello, when I said strip to the waist, I meant for you to start at the top.'

"Gina remembers where she left her pen... No wonder I can't write with this. It's a rectal thermometer."

"Please forgive me, I seem to have misplaced my spectacles. Will the happy couple please step forward?"

'I don't give a damn what the chart says! i did not have a hysterectomy!!!'

"What a screwup. I was only supposed to get a hip replacement."

'Advanced access' isn't REALLY about you booking an appointment in advance of having anything wrong with you!

'Okay, you're due for a lube job, fluid levels check and a new ball joint. Oh, skip that...this is my list...'

"Uh, oh...I was supposed to rub this on your back..."

"What makes you think you got your medication mixed up with your wife's?"

'You're an auto mechanic - are you going to want any of the old parts?'

'When I asked if she was critical I didn't mean verbally!'

'No nurse! - I said check their obs!'

"Do you call this a party! I've been to livelier funerals!"