Media Mix-up Enthusiast Pillows

'No son, not like that.'

If these are your medications, what happened to the beads I bought?

"Sorry, that's not my table."

Wait - If this is a big bag of toys, where's the big bag of dirty laundry? Worst Christmas morning ever.

'Eh...our costume party was last Saturday!'

'I suppose you're going to tell me I need new contact lenses.'

'You came through the delivery with flying colors, Mrs. Lewis.'

'Do you know that tattoo reads,'I love little porcelain dolls'?' (a Chinese man explaining to a tough guy what his Chinese tattoo really means).

"Right now someone is saying 'Look, somebody threw out a perfectly good briefcase!"

'Continue to support sex education in the schools if you want to, but Billy just told me that he resulted when your sperm met my omelet.'

'Oops - it's not a stethoscope - it's my ipod!'

"I'm not sure how to tell you this, Glenda, but you've been sitting on a golf ball for the last three times."

'Bloody paparazzi' - 'I know, it's at least 40 minutes since I rang them!'

'Sorry. We have no senor discount.'

"... But you can still ask the audience."

Piano tuner with an assistant.

"Bert's Bakery? I think there's a pissed-off Bucks Party somewhere, standing around our wedding cake."

"No, this is not 'returns,' and that's not a receipt … it's a birth certificate!"

"Gina remembers where she left her pen... No wonder I can't write with this. It's a rectal thermometer."

"Please forgive me, I seem to have misplaced my spectacles. Will the happy couple please step forward?"

'I don't give a damn what the chart says! i did not have a hysterectomy!!!'

"What a screwup. I was only supposed to get a hip replacement."

"What makes you think you got your medication mixed up with your wife's?"

"Uh, oh...I was supposed to rub this on your back..."

'You're right. It does look infected. But I'm just the janitor.'

'No nurse! - I said check their obs!'

'Eh Darling. Why is the goldfish in the cats bowl?'

"Do you call this a party! I've been to livelier funerals!"

Golfer on Football Pitch

"Then that lady next to me on the bus must be on her way to the hospital with my loose meat sandwich."

'There is no need to be alarmed, Mr. Shaw - there's been a mix-up in the laundry.'

'If you please, sir, Mother's took the lotion, and rubbed her leg with the mixture!'

'Employment service? I asked for keypunchers, not cowpunchers!'

'You idiot! You didn't tell us this gig was for a marching band! '

Animal Hospital.