Medical Mix-up Enthusiast Pillows

'I don't give a damn what the chart says! i did not have a hysterectomy!!!'

"What a screwup. I was only supposed to get a hip replacement."

"Gina remembers where she left her pen... No wonder I can't write with this. It's a rectal thermometer."

'No nurse! - I said check their obs!'

'You came through the delivery with flying colors, Mrs. Lewis.'

If these are your medications, what happened to the beads I bought?

"Sorry, that's not my table."

"And as if that wasn't bad enough. They've discovered that I'm allergic to bandages!"

'I suppose you're going to tell me I need new contact lenses.'

'Breast implants? There must be some mistake. I have you down for knee surgery not breast implants!'

'But I only came in to have my appendix out!'

"The operation was a huge success, Mr. Smith, but we're going to have to open you up again - we appear to have lost a nurse."

'Side effects? You have to worry about side effects?'

'Wait a minute! Didn't I see you on 'Funniest Medical Bloopers and Blunders'?'

'Oops - it's not a stethoscope - it's my ipod!'

"How do I get Nurse Jenkins to stop saying 'I told you so'?"

"Right now someone is saying 'Look, somebody threw out a perfectly good briefcase!"

'Continue to support sex education in the schools if you want to, but Billy just told me that he resulted when your sperm met my omelet.'

'I gave you a few extra stitches - Your husband's idea, really!'

"When I yell 'CLEAR' that doesn't mean you."

"Nurse, you've mixed up the helium and oxygen again haven't you ?"

"Bert's Bakery? I think there's a pissed-off Bucks Party somewhere, standing around our wedding cake."

'Your chart here says you've had some sort of allergic reaction to frogs' legs...can you be more specific?'

"Relax, un-controllable trembling is natural before major surgery."

'Strip DOWN to your waist, Mr Yomp, not UP!'

"No, this is not 'returns,' and that's not a receipt … it's a birth certificate!"

'Mr Mundello, when I said strip to the waist, I meant for you to start at the top.'

"Please forgive me, I seem to have misplaced my spectacles. Will the happy couple please step forward?"

'George...George! Have you seen the fly-spray anywhere?'

'Went in for a simple blood test and got cloned by mistake.'

'Must've pressed the wrong button. Hang on, I'll ask the nurse.'

'Okay, you're due for a lube job, fluid levels check and a new ball joint. Oh, skip that...this is my list...'

"Uh, oh...I was supposed to rub this on your back..."

'You're right. It does look infected. But I'm just the janitor.'

'You're an auto mechanic - are you going to want any of the old parts?'