Medical Mix-up Enthusiast Pillows

'I don't give a damn what the chart says! i did not have a hysterectomy!!!'

"What a screwup. I was only supposed to get a hip replacement."

"What makes you think you got your medication mixed up with your wife's?"

"Gina remembers where she left her pen... No wonder I can't write with this. It's a rectal thermometer."

'No nurse! - I said check their obs!'

'You came through the delivery with flying colors, Mrs. Lewis.'

'See? The idiots put my danged knee replacement in backward!'

If these are your medications, what happened to the beads I bought?

"Sorry, that's not my table."

'I'll give it back to you in a second hon, I just want to get this broccoli out of my teeth.'

"And as if that wasn't bad enough. They've discovered that I'm allergic to bandages!"

'I suppose you're going to tell me I need new contact lenses.'

'Breast implants? There must be some mistake. I have you down for knee surgery not breast implants!'

'But I only came in to have my appendix out!'

'Side effects? You have to worry about side effects?'

"The operation was a huge success, Mr. Smith, but we're going to have to open you up again - we appear to have lost a nurse."

'Wait a minute! Didn't I see you on 'Funniest Medical Bloopers and Blunders'?'

'I gave you a few extra stitches - Your husband's idea, really!'

'Oops - it's not a stethoscope - it's my ipod!'

"How do I get Nurse Jenkins to stop saying 'I told you so'?"

'Continue to support sex education in the schools if you want to, but Billy just told me that he resulted when your sperm met my omelet.'

"Right now someone is saying 'Look, somebody threw out a perfectly good briefcase!"

"When I yell 'CLEAR' that doesn't mean you."

"Nurse, you've mixed up the helium and oxygen again haven't you ?"

'Your chart here says you've had some sort of allergic reaction to frogs' legs...can you be more specific?'

"Relax, un-controllable trembling is natural before major surgery."

"Bert's Bakery? I think there's a pissed-off Bucks Party somewhere, standing around our wedding cake."

'Strip DOWN to your waist, Mr Yomp, not UP!'

"Please forgive me, I seem to have misplaced my spectacles. Will the happy couple please step forward?"

'George...George! Have you seen the fly-spray anywhere?'

"No, this is not 'returns,' and that's not a receipt … it's a birth certificate!"

'Mr Mundello, when I said strip to the waist, I meant for you to start at the top.'

'Went in for a simple blood test and got cloned by mistake.'

'Must've pressed the wrong button. Hang on, I'll ask the nurse.'

'Okay, you're due for a lube job, fluid levels check and a new ball joint. Oh, skip that...this is my list...'