Medical Mix-up Aficionado Pillows

"Uh, oh...I was supposed to rub this on your back..."

If these are your medications, what happened to the beads I bought?

"Sorry, that's not my table."

Medical Books - Lady Chatterley's Liver

Cranial-Metal Plate Surgery Centre

'I think it's your colon. I came to that conclusion through the process of elimination.'

"All good: This egg looks healthy as well..."

"It'll have to stay on until your vasectomy heals..."

"Your EKG corresponds with the stock market report."

'We've not met, but I'm your keyhole surgeon.'

"And as if that wasn't bad enough. They've discovered that I'm allergic to bandages!"

"Not dead, nonsense! According to the computer you are dead! . . . Please don't waste anymore of out valuable time and leave the operating room!"

'I suppose you're going to tell me I need new contact lenses.'

'Three, two, one. Stand clear.'

'I can't turn it off.'

"I'm saying we lash out for the 'Deluxe' collagen treatment, next time, honey."

Grand rounds vs. ground rounds.

'Breast implants? There must be some mistake. I have you down for knee surgery not breast implants!'

"Hey, how come no diplomas?" "Oh, I'm self-taught."

'But I only came in to have my appendix out!'

"I'm certain you're fine, but my attorney would like to see you naked."

'Side effects? You have to worry about side effects?'

Dentists who do appendectomies.

"The operation was a huge success, Mr. Smith, but we're going to have to open you up again - we appear to have lost a nurse."

'You came through the delivery with flying colors, Mrs. Lewis.'

"Wow, at last! Somebody who's really ill."

Circus doctor.

The New Surgery Interpreter was to prove invaluable

'Ok, Ms. Feldman, it says on your chart that you were discharged yesterday.'

Early Anaesthesia