Lover Of Medical Misunderstandings Pillows

'He must be allergic to measles. He's come out in spots.'

Heart surgeon tastooing patients heart with "Love".

If these are your medications, what happened to the beads I bought?

"Your test results are in...now the interpretations can begin."

'When you said, Dream Team, I thought you meant the Swiss Bikini Team.'

Hypochodriac worrying about his heart.

It was only Monday...but Dr Davies knew that it was going to be a long...long week...

"You have natural causes.''

'Well, at least we were able to remove that pesky hangnail. So, you have to be pretty stoked about that."

"I'm Dr. Fenton. I'll be performing your microsurgery today."

Your numerous prescriptions really have improved my love life. I'm dating my pharmacist.

'You came through the delivery with flying colors, Mrs. Lewis.'

"We still don't have a diagnosis for your rash, so we're going to run some more money on it and see what happens."

'Actually I was rather looking forward to a BLANKET bath!'

'What's that noise?'

'Oops - it's not a stethoscope - it's my ipod!'

'I suspect your problem isn't stress related, right?'

Ah ha! Surgeons remove shopping trolley from patient.

"How do I get Nurse Jenkins to stop saying 'I told you so'?"

With a hindsight exam result of 20/40, Harold hoped the new monocle would be less irritating than the last one.

'Your chart here says you've had some sort of allergic reaction to frogs' legs...can you be more specific?'

"Relax, un-controllable trembling is natural before major surgery."

Staff care...DOH style!

'Strip DOWN to your waist, Mr Yomp, not UP!'

"Gina remembers where she left her pen... No wonder I can't write with this. It's a rectal thermometer."

'I don't give a damn what the chart says! i did not have a hysterectomy!!!'

"What a screwup. I was only supposed to get a hip replacement."

"Do you have any fresh medical mumbo jumbo?"

'Advanced access' isn't REALLY about you booking an appointment in advance of having anything wrong with you!

"Donald is an appendicitis survivor, too."

Man holding container entitled 'Die supplement', with newspaper headline stating 'Vitamin & mineral health risks'.

"Uh, oh...I was supposed to rub this on your back..."

'There is no need to be alarmed, Mr. Shaw - there's been a mix-up in the laundry.'